early at em

I spent ALL day selling purses at an employee fair of some sorts. Man what a long day. Up at 6 kids to sitter by 7 and they were not happy with me. C man would crawl in bed every time i turned my back. A was happy to be woken up but that changed once at the sitters. We left in the dark.....it's been JULY since we've been up this early and here of lately i'm lucky if i'm awake BEFORE 7!! C stood by the van and profused loudley that he did not want to go to gingies (sitter) and that he was even willing to go back to bed. I left him clinging to the van door while i took Miss A in. She sreamed so loud it woke up the 5 kids sleeping on the floor and i believe the neighbors! Back out to bring C kicking and screaming in to which A was quite b/c she was amused with his screaming. I go to hand him off to the oldest boy and by the time i turn my back they BOTH are screaming, crying, ahhhhh I shut the door and thought thank God i do not have to do this every day. ( i also couldn't help but smile and say a day of not hearing that)

DH picked them up and i left the 'fair' hr early. Enough was enough i was ready to get out of there. Barely made enough to pay the sitter. Came home to the kids playing in the yard and they were fairly happy to seem me but knew that it now would be time to come in. More screaming and protesting. DH left to unload wagons and I ate listening to them scream, whine, you name it. I do need to call the sitter and find out what they ate for lunch b/c i sure as heck can't figure it out based on what C is telling me. A was sleeping by 710 and C by 730. They both have colds, as does DH. I'd rather the kids have colds then DH, what a baby....but anyway

All is quite and i'm ready to turn in myself.

Night night!!!!

Road Trip 101

Butt buzzers....hate them dam things!! You know those things that are warning you to stop....those things that if you go over at 3 mph will shake the entire contents of your fully loaded van so hard that even your teeth clatter. Yeah...those things.
The kids and I went on Mankato MN where my sister and her family life. We left Thursday after the funeral. Which was very sad as to be expected. I got stuck behind 3 gravel trucks for the first 45 min of the 3 1/2 hr drive. So when we came to those rumble bars i had to go very slow over them. That woke the kids up who'd only been sleeping for 45 min!! I just about turned around i was so mad. They were a little on the fussy side and who could blame them. They probably thought the world was caving in on them.
We ended up having to stop 1 1/2 in to the drive at mcdonalds and play at the germville they had there. I hated to have them crawling around in there but i knew they wouldn't make it otherwise and it was to cold to do anything else.
We made it to Mankato and the rest of the trip there was uneventful Addie did end up falling asleep again. We went to the Mall of America on Friday. Grrr....it wasn't so bad till we had to eat lunch with 5000+ of my BFF's. Holy moly..it was like a feeding troft. Finding a place to sit was the worst and then standing in line and then sitting down trying to feed to small kids while everyone is bumping in to me, kids are trying to escape and THREE times water spilled on me. Our own, but none the less. Do NOT attempt to eat in the cafe court. Go to one of the nice sit down places. Well worth the money to keep you sane!!
Saturday we went to a pumpkinland and that was fun. FINALLY no rain that day and we saw the SUN!! Unbelievable but we did!
Sunday AM we left for home and once again the kids slept for like 1 hr of the trip. We did stop at my parents tho which is 1 hr from being home. That was a nice break and really the kids did great sitting in the car.
I think my van is very happy to be home. My sister drove to the mall and p'kin land and i swear to god that van was pushed harder then it ever had been. Man that women is a crazy driver. She thought the breaks were bad on the van, i politely said no....i think it's just you.
But we did have a nice time and it was a nice break and change of scenerary. Niece 'jo jo- 12 yrs old, had fun with her cousins and they all got to experience first had A's lovely screaming!!
ok folks i'm outta here....The Hills are on!! That show rocks my world:)

I hate it

I hate suicide. Now seriously who really 'likes' it. Why am i even blogging about this!? Well we got news Sunday nite that DH's cousin did it. He shot himself!! Dam it!! WHY!?? Didn't he know what it would do to everyone!? Didn't he think about his father? His brother? his nieces, his family that loved him so much?? What was he THINKING!!!
He has been battling depression, bi-polar, and who knows what else for YEARS!! Probably since he was born some 50+ years ago. He was on meds but he's feel better and stop taking them. Once a year, or more, he'd receive shock treatments and it was being noted amongst my husband & BIL that this last treatment wasn't seeming to work.
I could go on and on about the last couple years and what has all happened to the poor guy but what good would it do. We all leave hard lives from time to time and while we may not have the depression, bi-polar, etc we all have our moments when we look from the ground up and think can i ever pull myself up!??
DH says his aunt is very bitter. I say she has every right to be BUT we can not begin to imagine how he was feeling. We don't know what it's like to feel so badly that you'd want to shoot yourself. People in this situation can't see past the moment they simply can't.
I can remember back to my IVF cycles and with each failed cycle i would wonder, what next? How much lower to the ground can i fall and still keep going. The last IVF cycle i did I hit rock bottom. I was lower then dirt, i was in the hole. I seriously could not see any sort of light what so ever. I cried in desperation to God saying' Why me?' Why are you doing this to me? How can you want to see me hurt so bad.
Maybe this is just some of what he was feeling!? Maybe he felt 10 ft UNDER. I dug myself out of that hole and stood up stronger then ever and said you have a plan for me?? Show it to me!!! But he couldn't see that. He hurt to much to pull his head up. His burdens were to heavy. Can you imagine feeling so burden you can't lift your head up!? How long had he been feeling this way? Years? Months? Days? Or maybe even just a couple min. We don't know. But now we need to pull ourselves up from wherever we are and look forward. We as a family need to support those left behind and encourage one another.
Suicide is tough. It's hard to put a positive spin on this funeral. This isn't the 2nd suicide funeral i've been to but dear GOD i pray it's the LAST!!
May he rest in peace. Peace from his illness. God loved him and God knew he was sick. God will clear his mind now and allow him to live a life of freedom. But his poor dad, his poor dad. To loose a son that you loved so much to something as tragic as suicide. I simply can not imagine. I simple can not.
I'll stop now as tears are welling in my eyes making the monitor very blurry.....will miss you Dennis. Will miss hearing about how much you love your dog, the stories of the college basketball teams you followed with such passion. You were a good man, friend, son, brother, uncle, cousin and master to your dog.

tough life

Hello!! Sorry for the absence. I really have SO much i could blog about that it's almost easier to jsut not blog as to not overwhelm any readers.
Last week was a tough week for me. Especially Thursday. Addison is not sleeping well at nite and Carson is extremely whiny and not napping well. Thursday was the breaking point for me. I cried more then i smiled that day. EVERYTHING was going wrong and i felt i was living someone elses life. It took all my strength to put one foot in front of the other. Jeff is harvesting which means spending ALL day alone with the kids. The days can get long. My eyes burned so bad Friday from all the crying. Do you ever get that feeling like 10 lb sandbags on your eyelids!? I do not operate well with little sleep. That's why i don't want anymore kids. I need my sleep, and like 6 hrs at least and would prefer 8!!
Things are going better this week which includes Carson taking good naps, 2 hrs and addie!? Well she's still waking up during the nite but i let her CIO. BUT i don't think she woke up last night. Can't even remember.
I had two purse parties saturday and that made for a pretty good day!

So today i somehow caught some of Oprah. It was Dr Oz answering questions from males in the audience. He said that sex 4 x's a day can increase the life of your husband. Shit, it's not looking good for J.

Edited to change the sex to 4 x's a day was supposed to be 4x's/WEEK!! I about fell off my chair when i saw i typed /DAY!! Man not only would he be dead, so would I!!!

Random thoughts and statements

Since I don't want to write a book here i'll see if i can make some random thoughts and goings within the walls of the farm house:)

Carson: He got to ride on Thomas the tank yesterday. It was passanger cars with thomas pulling us. He enjoyed it accept for the loud horn blowing. His favorite tho was the toy tent where he scored some great new thomas toys thanks to G'ma L and the extra money she sent with us.

He continues to crack me up with his sentences. Like any time i'm in the kitchen baking or cookie he'll ask 'cup of sugar?' or 'ummmm cup of sugar' Said matter of factly. We went to our schools homecoming parade too last nite and that was probably more fun then Thomas. He loved getting the candy, waving and looking at the sirens.

Addison: She rode Thomas too and enjoyed her little ride as well. No thomas toys for her tho. She is developing a stronger and stronger temper every day. She HATES her changing table like no other i've seen. But her smiles are plenty. She can walk however chooses not to unless all attention is on her. She prefers her scootin. Still will wake up screaming bloody murder throughout the nite but most times she'll put herself back to sleep within 1-5 min. Little stinker...scares the crap out of me to be awakin that way.

Jeff: He's anxiously waiting to get in the field. The chopping is done and like Thomas, the combine has made its yearly appearance. Oh the stories i could tell you all about 'the combine' It can be the most worthless piece of crap when it's not working, which um....is most of the time. Although last year they got a different one and things went smoother. The 'old' one should rest in junk yard piece but every year the guys seem to resurrect it.

Me: I'm hanging in here at home. I'm starting to enjoy it and feel good about what i'm doing. My purse parties have just taken off, in fact next sat. I'm doing two!! Just when i get used to being home and trying to put out of my mind all the things i left behind at my old place, i get a call from a large employer in the area. I know the HR person, she's C's godmother, and they have a job opening. The are looking for someone to join there marketing/advertising dept. M-F 8-430. Pay starts at $13 and you must have a BS degree. I really can say i'm not interested for a number of reasons:

hours

pay

position

just to name a few. But part of me is thinking turn in your resume, take the tests they need you to take, and just see what happens. Maybe i'll be to good for them to not think hey lets work with her. Ideally, work from home at least 1/2 the time or work part time and then i'd have to make more too. I left making quite a bit more then that however i have to consider the average wages in this area, $13/hr is pretty high. But yeah i really want to be home with my kids and wouldn't want to work a 5 day week. I also would have to find daycare, blah blah you get the point and i'm seeing it too. No go. But i will ask them to keep me in mind for small/temp jobs or in 6 years.

so yeah that's been the coming and goings. I have an entire post i could do on my 'friend' who is pregnant and wants to give the baby up. She is more of an aquantince and someone i'm trying to help out and minister to her. But yeah my mind is flooded right now with way to many things.

Thanks for sticking to reading this all and feel free to comment on anything or everything.

Am I cut out for this

I'm starting to wonder if i'm cut out for this SAHM business. Man I want to love it and be happy but i'm struggling. The days get long, the kids have been whinny, and i'm exhausted. I feel like i'm doing a crap job b/c the kids are so demanding. But then, like now, when they are sleeping i start to feel re-energized. But then they wake up so quick and i'm thrown back in the ring. My patience levels are about maxed out. I so wish just one nite every two weeks even, i could get together with other moms over drinks and greasy food:)

Aren't they sweet tho playing side by side, even if A is eating SAND

BUT i am still getting ready for my garage sale and i'm feeling very good about that. I have so much stuff it's rather sad. I had a friend buy over $53 worth of A's stuff and another one coming to go thru C's stuff. Then i have gobs of home interior stuff and then mine and my moms clothes! Wooohooo..not sure what i'll do with the money, assuming i'll make some:) The money i make off the kids clothes i plan on keeping cash on hand for things that pop up that they need (socks, underwear are MUCH needed right now) That money is theres, but everything else, for me. Suggestions??





Then on the purse front i have officially booked my september with parties. I'm so stoaked. So that boosts my confidence. I currently have 4 with a 5th in the works.





Offer me suggestions on what i could do with the garage sale money:)


Later

Playing in sandbox

When it rains it pours

That statement has GOT to be my motto, and literally it did that this AM. At about 9AM it got so dark in the house I had to turn lights on. Then the phone rings, it's my MIL wanting me to go to there house and look on FIL's desk for MONEY that they/he LOST. They are on vacation somewhere b/w IA and CO and apprantley he can not find his money. He thinks someone stole it, MIL thinks it's sitting on his desk at home. Cops are coming, inlaws are in a panic. Note to everone, THIS is why one does NOT travel with cash. Well maybe $100 b/c you will find that if you need towing, tire fixed, etc companies will not do it unless you have cash to pay them. So anyway, miss A is down for a nap and the skys just open up and it pours. It pours so hard the rain can't get out of the window sills fast enough and the wind is horrendous. I'm not going anywhere for sure!

I call her back and tell her when the rain stops i'll go. After about 30 min of drenching downpours, it lets up. I get A up from her nap buckle her in Honda, then C who has now pee'd in his pants, look under the car and make sure no kittens are under and start the car. Well the check engine light is on and the car sounds horrible. So turn off the honda move the kids to the van, which has VERY LITTLE gas (little trip to the lakes yesterday to late by the time we got home to put gas in) and drive to the farm. Well, i get there to fine my BIL's pickup in the garage. I walk in and there he is looking for the money talking to my MIL. I was FURIOUS. I said why didn't someone call me? He said he tried but got no answer and was just a tad snarky with me. I replied 'Well if I don't answer it's probably b/c i'm on my way over here and why didn't you call my cell phone, my honda sounds like crap, i had to wake A up to get over here, the van has like no gas, I have a leak somewhere in my attic, C pee'd his pants, and all this b/c i was trying to get over here!!! Thanks a lot' and i stormed out in tears.

I know maybe a little dramatic, but if you don't know my by now, i am dramatic but not overly. I don't think, others would disagree. OH and i had to move the stinken yellow pickup (yeah the pickup that was buried in snow this spring) in which i had to just let off the break and let it coast back till i slammed the breaks and made it come to a SCREECHING HAULT right in the gravel. Darn near gave myself whiplash. So yeah, lovely day!!!!!!!!!

There's more but this is the gist of it and probably more then enough for you all to read. I'm home obviuosly and the kids are napping for what i hope is a couple hours. They had to endure me during all of this. When i got in the van from storming out of inlaws house, C says 'what wrong mommy' so sincere!!

***********i'm also going to start making my blog private. I want to know whos out there reading it, if anyone. It's to protect my family and all the freaks out there that i don't want seeing pics of my kiddos and who knows whatelse may appear on it. So please, take a moment and drop me an email and let me know you're reading it and i'll grant you access to it. Thanks so much!!

I'm going to go wring out my umbrella and surf the net:)

crazy day and it's only mid afternoon

OK so this is one of those days where i need to blog:) Lets start back this AM. C was whiny all AM. He wanted a 'dippy' (sippy) he wanted to lay on the couch, he just was being a whiny kid. Miss A had a hard time going down for her nap. It probably had nothing to do with the fact i missed the timeframe b/c i was busy putting totes and garbage bags of stuff up in the attic. It wasn't 120 degrees up there so i took advantage of that. Well as i'm sitting at the computer, i see a motorcycle at the end of the driveway. First thought is what is my BIL doing here!? AND my dogs HATE cycles. Then the light goes on, the appraiser was to be here today!! CRAP i didn't even have a freakin bra on. I was like running thru my house trying to find one and pick up a couple things. I thought i have a/b 1 min to get my bra on before he's at my door. But wait, what about the dogs out there about to take his leg.

Well i went for getting the bra on, on the opposite side of the house being aware of any windows, then out to get the dogs. It ended up that i had plenty of time b/c he had to take pictures, blah blah. Did i mention I wasn't even sure C was clothed. Thank goodness he was! As we're outside C decided to pee. Off comes the bottomw and he hangs his 'stuff' over the cement and pees. I was like oh geez louise!!

Once inside C was just thrilled to have a visitor to which the appraiser replies 'one thing about farm kids, they sure get exicted to see company' i was like what the $!(@#* it's not like we live in a CAVE!!

OK so he leaves and it's time to get lunch ready and get the kids to bed. C won't go down and neither will A. I'm rocking A he's crying. I rock him A's crying. AHHHH eventually all is quite and i sneek down to finish my COLD lunch when i here C whimpering again. I thought he was asleep!? Go up there and take him in bed with me. He falls asleep i think sweet....well that lasted a/b 20 min and he was down here.

At that point i here someone come bareling down our driveway. I thought maybe it was DH hauling a wagon. He's at an auction today. It was the UPS man. WHY DOES HE HAVE TO DRIVE LIKE A BAT OUTTA HELL!! THen he honks his horn. So all 3 dogs are flipping out. I run out there get my box and he leaves. But by then Miss A is fussing. I let her be and i haven't heard a peep but now C is down here laying on the couch.

I think tonite i might go to a movie ALONE! Never would have done that in my earlier years, but the idea of a nite alone is sounding just fine. Oh and yesterday was another dentist appt for C. I'll blog about that later. I'm blogged out!

She's ONE

I tried posting this yesterday but it wouldn't let me. So here it is today. This farm house now has a 2 yr old AND 1 yr old!! Miss A turned ONE yesterday. I couldn't believe it where did the year go. At nap time I sat upstairs in the rocking chair and rocked her as she babbled away as if she was telling me about how in 16 years i'll be taking her to get her drivers license. NOOOO....I had tears streaming down my face as she fell asleep in my arms and i thought about how lucky i am. After all the IVF treatments and the adoption process and here I sat with this child that I thought I'd never have. God definately had a plan in mind for us and sometimes I wonder if i messed with his plan by doing the IVF cycles. It's like he wanted us to adopt and then he blessed us with a pregnancy. Not many people can have this many experiences in there journey to be a parent. Although it was through all those IVF's that made my faith in God come out! Anyway, she is a little chunker now, she was so petite when she was born. She has quite a personality of wanting things now and her way. She hates being told no and if she's by the TV her brother will come over and gently pull her down. She'll sit down, clench her fists and growl. She's easily excited. She jumps up and down on her toosh and flings her arms. She loves to eat and while she isn't TO picky she loves her grapes and yogurt.
We celebrated the day by going on a little road trip with friends of ours and then out for breakfast. She had a great nap almost all afternoon and we went out to eat with DH's parents and brother.
Happy Birthday Baby and we wish you MANY more!

Uggg

Wow what a night. I'm not sure what Miss A's problem is but she will NOT sleep. She has a cold, maybe getting some teeth but last nite was horrible. She went to bed by 7 after barely napping all day and at 1030PM she as up. I thought it had to be like 3 AM. I had just fallen asleep. I was so annoyed. I don't handle this waking up business very well. Never have, never will. I need my sleep, uninterupted too. DH has a cold so i now i have THREE sick babies. I'm sure my turn is coming. So, we were up till midnight. We would set her down and she'd play and be happy then in 2 min she was wailing. I tried earlier to let her CIO (cry it out) and DH came and took her. She fussed off and on sleeping a couple minutes here and there. Finally around midnight she fell asleep in DH's arms. I finished my shopping @ this online pharmacy store. The only place I could find A's binkies. So i took her and she immediatly woke up. At which point DH took her in the the bedroom downstairs and i went upstairs. I couldn't take it ANYMORE.

6AM DH wakes me up, he's leaving for work. A slept 6 hours of which 3 of them were restless. I came downstairs and of course she wakes up and starts crying at the site of me. Hmmm...i felt like doing the same!

9AM she is now sleeping!!!!!

Mr C man is watching Spongebob, one episode. Show drives me nuts. He is a little touchy too but at least he sleeps at nite. That is once he falls asleep. The crib is coming down and he's going to have to sleep in the toddler bed. He gets out of the crib. He loves his crib but if he can get out then it's time to go the toddler bed.

Daddys little girl and she's needing more daddy time. Obviously this was taken a couple weeks ago.

I'm tired, have had a neck ache and just need a break. Oh crap, i've been at this 4 weeks now and i'm already saying i need a break. I knew this stay at home wouldn't be easy but i'm EXHAUSTED! THis is the longest i've sat in probably 4 weeks, aside from sleeping. My patience level leaves a lot to be desired. DH is working this week at the post office so at least he's out of my hair. I can be such a schedule person. Doesn't have to be minute by minute but i like some structure. As in DH leaving to go do farm work by 7 or 8 and then coming home 5-6. Does that make sense?

No regrets a/b leaving my job just wish i could get a better handle on staying home, or on me!

Cultural Experience

This farm wife and mother just came from quite the cultural experience. Now I hope that sentence didn't come off that I live in the middle of the USA and have had NO cultural experiences. I've actually traveled to most of the states here, was a nanny in Chicago, visited our Foreign Exchange student in China Town NY, not to mention the many summers spend in New York City, as my mom grew up near NYC. But tonight was interesting. My BIL (brother in law) got married, this would be Jeff's brother, to a Vietnamese lady. I'm not sure how they communicate as she speaks little English, but I like her. I think this is a MUCH better match then his first wife. They couldn't communicate either and they both spoke English!

But yeah, lets see. The wedding was at 11 AM, weird time. So the kids and I didn't attend. We went to the reception which started at 5pm. It was at a Chinese Restaurant that they closed down for the reception. It was a NINE course meal!!! We had it all, I need to try and get a copy of the menu to give one an idea of it all. But besides the meal they had karaoke. Well imagine twangy music and then people singing in Vietnamese. I'm sorry if i offend anyone, but it was HORRIBLE I mean THREE HOURS of sangggg sunnngggg sooooo whaaaaa. My poor C man was covering his ears. It was ear piercing, gut wrenching. It was so bad that i just laughed so hard I was crying. I mean the 80 yr old g'ma even sang. Then we had the future Vietnam. Idol give it a shot. Remember William HUNG?? Well it was like that but worse on the singing!! Oh, lets see we had a couple duets with Mr Move and Mr Freeze face.

Oh and my car that they borrowed b/c it's white. Let me tell you i ought to get an extra $500 for that way that was decorated. It was done tastefully but i could just see my Honda blushing!! BUT BIL is trying to sell it for me. I'm sad about that, I'll post about that another time.

Of course we had to create our own drama when DH put Miss A in the high chair much against her will. He didn't put her legs b/w the straps and out she came BUT she got stuck. What a drama. People yelling to try turning her head someone else saying no no, pull her up, I think i actually froze. The waitress came at that point and took care of it all for us. For once DH actually realized he screwed up by doing it. That was a first. She was a horrible fuss bucket from that point on and we were only to course 6!!

So yeah, more cultural things were done. like going to each table and having a toast. That my FIL (father in law) would have nothing of. At one point our names were read and we had to go stand up front and everyone clapped, and other speeches. For all we know they were probably talking about us and how we all our stupid:) Who knows couldn't understand it. DH actually said that was one place he wouldn't have minded singing b/c it couldn't have been any worse then what was being sung.

OK I'll stop the ramblings. I do think that i asked those of you whom i know via my old job to email me, but I'm not sure i have my address listed anywhere. Email me at likelabs@yahoo.com

OK everyone farewell till the next time. The people within this ol' farm house are exhausted and in need of just peaceful music.

I'm home

Here i am now a stay at home mom, and loving it It is so wierd to just enjoy the day. No worries a/b having to wake up at 6AM and making sure i get to bed on time. No thoughts thru out the day of wondering what my kids are doing without me. No crying from the C Man when i leave each AM or no horrible crabby moods to come home too. I can get supper ready all day if i want. I don't have to rush around trying to manage kids, husband and supper all in the first 15 min of me getting home at night. No more work 'issues' nonsense crap brought on b/c someone has to much time on there hands. No more eating at 1130 every day and be careful to make sure i'm back or done eating by 1230. So yeah, i'm glad to be home! It has it's challenging moments but all in all so far so good.

Yesterday after nap time Mr C and I went to town to pick up insurance quotes, mail letters and get some groceries all while daddy stayed home with miss A. I found baby kittens in our barn so the last two AM's we make trips out to see them. Evenings have been spents outside watching C and A swim. Miss A gets me up b/w 6-630, but it just doesn't seem so bad having her wake me up vs my alarm. Yeah i'm still very tired and probably will be the rest of my life. BUT i could lay down and take a nap if I really needed too.

We are planning on heading out East here in september so i'm busy checking out airfare. Speaking of East coast, my Easy coast friends, please if any of you read this drop me a quick note so i can have your email address!! Didn't get that before leaving.

Ok mommy needs to get some lunch!! Babies are sleeping

I have RESIGNED

WEll folks, i did it! I have resigned from my job. I didn't leave on the terms i wanted to, but i must look forward now. I had 2 things that I said if happened i would resign. They were 1. work Fridays and 2. move my office from the tec bldg to the other bldg (the hen house) well the later happened today.
This is no rush decision i made. I have moved my office in the last NINE years more then 15+ times. I have been pooped on way to many times and enough was enough. Prior to me leaving last year on maternity leave some things were said to me that really hurt. I didn't want to come back and the only thing that made me go back was knowing i'd be in an office with the guys. WEll a couple weeks ago they changed who i had to 'report' too and that came to me in an email, didn't appreciate that AT ALL. But i got over it. Well today this thing came to me in an impromptu meeting called my the manager. Just told me Rachel your're moving back over here. Ok i thought.....i'm outta here. They were busy visuallizing how everything was going to look and eye contact by my 2 favorite co-workers was not looking at me. They knew what was coming.
Came back to my office, called my mom went and talked to two of the guys and then typed up my resignation. Office manager came over to 'talk to me' but the damage was done. I handed her my resignation. She left, came back later with the other 'manager' see here are you following all these 'manager's one of our problems is we have to many chiefs and not enough indians!!
They tried to persuade me otherwise but by then I saw an email come in from my dad saying 'Way to go' I'm never disappointed in you' I said i just got all the affirmation I needed from my husband and my dad.
Well then they told me I could leave at noon. THAT HURT!! I was fully planning on staying the 2 weeks and tying up the loose ends of which were MANY! I really lost it at that point. Of course not till they were gone and the two guys i work with came up and were shocked at what they just told me a/b leaving at noon.

SOOOOO here i am AT HOME!! I'm a STAY AT HOME MOM=SAHM that's me!! Dam proud too. I'm hurt that after 9 years i ended like this. Hurt that the real manager never came over to talk to me. Hurt that they didn't talk to me a/b this prior, but you know, that's life. It's full of hurts and disappointments and in the long run, i'm coming out ahead.

God will make it work, i know He will!! There were some things that kind of fell in to place prior to today that makes me think God was orchestrating this. But now i must not get discouraged being home. I must be happy for my hubby. I must not complain.

Dad called me this evening to see how i was doing. He said he's releaved for me and he even started to cry as we talked a/b me not ever disappointing him. Did i tell you he's an owner. There will be lots of explaining to come i'm sure, at the next board meeting. One of the owners daughters LEFT!? What the @#*$( happened!! Dad said an email was sent to the board members that i had quit, HATE that word. Said that i will be greatly missed...blah blah. Why am I always making the sacrifices and being pooped on. Myself and one other girl i work with always get the short end of the stick. We really do I'm not making this up.

So yeah, I'll stop now this has gotten way long. DH was over here saying are you recappng your story?? I replied yeah but i'm not sure any one even reads this. LOL Shot out if you do!

Well i should be able to blog more often now!!

Laura is Coming

My dear friend Laura ie LaLa, is coming from NEW JERSEY TOMORROW!! YEAH!! I met Laura when we sold her and her hubby 2 lab puppies, back in the day when we raised pups. It's amazing how God brought us together. Lets see, that would have been 4 years ago?? I posted an ad somewhere on the internet, she searched for Black Labs and came up with my ad along with a couple others. We continued to email back and forth till she said she would take ours. Did you catch that, TWO LABS!! Now we would have to ship these little lovers too!! What an experience but it was amazing. We continued to keep in touch.

I was rather interested in her life story and her love for labs. I wondered if she had kids, found out she didn't. I was going thru one of my SIX freakin mind you, IVF cycles, and wondered what her life story was. Well as i always say God brings people in to my life for a reason. She had walked in my shoes some years earlier. It was AMAZING!! I was going thru IVF with NO support from anyone that 'had done' it and here I meet this lady who knows EXACTLY what i'm going thru. Trust me, unless you've done IVF you do NOT know what it's like. Another post about that some time later.

So we shipped to lab puppies to her that she was going to suprise her husband with! It was so exciting. Marley and Dreyfus now live a WONDERFUL life in Stockton NJ. They have a great place to run around, swim and they even get spa treatments. They have a wonderful doggy hotel that they stay at and i'm telling you these dogs live a better life then most kids!

These dogs brought Laura and I together and we have formed a relationship/friendship that is just amazing. I've been out to see her and her here. We email sometimes daily, sometimes every other day. We've seen eachother thru sadness and happiness. Lauras dear daddy passed away during the early years of our friendship. I was still getting to know her then but it was very sad then already to see my friend hurting. It was then i knew we had something. THEN she saw us thru the many IVF cycles and then on to adoption. She was on my cell phone when Carson took his first cries!! She was on one phone and my mom on Jeff's phone. She was there, miles away, but she was there. She cried tears of joy with me!! It was the most amazing moment for me. Sob sob i have tears in my eyes now!!!

Then she was the first person I called that Christmas Day evening when i took a pregnancy test and it was POSITIVE. I called her right away. We cried, we cheered, we laughed we were also speechless. Then 9 months later i called her within seconds of Addison being born. To be honest, i really don't even remember that conversation. And you want to know who addison is named after?? Laura's mother. Her mother goes by Addie and i always loved that name.

Laura and her husband own a restaurant, here check it out www.chamberswalk.com I tell you i'm so dang proud of them. This place is amazing!! Please take a moment and check out the site. For my NJ friends, we shall meet here some day when i'm out there for lunch!!

So my eyes are now tearing up again. Tearing up for the joy Laura has brought in to my life. Everyone should have a friend like her. I could go on and on about her. I'm actually very blessed to not only have her as one of my very dear friends but also Shannan and Erica. Posts on them too some day!! So Laura....i can't WAIT TO SEE YOU!! I just can't wait!!
Love ya and thanks for being such an amazing, wonderful, great, trustworthy, honest friend. God blessed me when he brought you in to my life! Safe travels!!