SAHM Post

I've found myself over the course of the last week, reflecting about me staying home. BFFE had suggested I blog about how our life has changed since I've been home. My kids have allowed that to happen this week. I would find myself looking at them while playing and think how blessed I am that I'm not rushing them out the door to daycare. How they just wonder around from one thing to the next without a care in the world. That is till one of them doesn't get there way then my dream is interrupted.

You might wonder what a typical day may be? Well let me see if I can give you an idea. We all must be dressed before coming downstairs. Some days that's easier said then done. Then it's a real casual breakfast where Miss A eats up right away and Mr C'man dilly daddles around. I don't know WHATS going to happen at school. He'll never get out to recess the way he eats.

Then it's outside where the kids just ride there hot wheels, check the chickens, play with chalk, terrorize the kittens, and just do there own thing. I stay in and start laundry, load or unload dishwasher, etc

Princess Miss A! She has on her Cindrella dress and coat. The coat is backwards and upside down. It was a chilly AM.

By 1130 it's time to eat! Yes we eat lunch early! That's mostly b/c by 730 AM, or earlier, we've already had breakfast and are outside playing. Off to nap time for Miss A by noon. C'man usually plays in his sandbox or quietly with trains, cars, etc. Miss A is usually up b/c 2-3.

Off to the pool is what we've BEEN doing but here of lately since Fall has decided to start in August we've had to hang out at home. More play time, maybe a DVD, snack time, etc.

Supper is @ 6pm and then bath some nights and off to bed b/w 7-8pm.

It's very casual. That is a huge step for me. I typically like structure/schedules but my kids are teaching me to take things as they come. We need to run up to the city for things, we can be in the car and on our way within 30 min! We want to meet up with friends, we go.

In my previous life (working) life was hectic. It was out the door by 645AM, home @ 6pm. Eat, bath, bed all by 730 at the latest.

In addition to an easy come easy go way of life, I now have more time to feed the kids homemade meals, canning, gardening, etc through out the week rather then trying to cram it into weekends.

Of course i realize this life isn't for everyone and I fully respect that. Just like college isn't for everyone, or gardening, or meat, you get the idea. But it's what my life is right now and this week I found myself enjoying what I have.

And here are some snapshots of what a day can look like around here:

Yes my house can often look like it threw up toys. But it all gets picked up b/c the toy fairy likes to come at night and find toys to take back to her little fairies. (hey it works!!)

slumber party mom?? Why do they always play in the kitchen while i'm making supper! At least we're seperated by an island so we don't trip over one another.

Playing with a friend!

I found this guy eating the volunteer corn in our bean field. We enjoyed watching him till he ran away from the kids fighting over the window. Can't say I blame him:)

Oh Cracks

If you have a chance to read Gems response to my last post, I encourage you to go read it. I was posting a comment to her comment, when it got erased. Therefore the title 'Oh Cracks' as that is what C'man says when something like that happens. (oh crap is what it's supposed to say)
I want to thank Gem for taking the risk of posting a comment. Many times it's easier to just let it go. Or sit and stew letting it fester and fester. I'm glad she didn't, for to long. While I feel that being a stay at home mom is where I belong, I realize it's not where every mom, or women, feels the same way. Hence the beauty of freedom of choice.
Where I have a problem, and really it's not even my problem so I don't want to spend much time on it b/c i can't do anything about it, are families that have the boat, 2 homes, lavish vacations, whatever it may be, while both parents are working. Possibly teaching there children you must work hard to have it all. Seems we have to work hard just to get by these days!
I commend Gem in her views. She is right that going to medical school with Government subsidised loans it's only fair to give back. To bad more people didn't' feel that way with any form of gov't monies. I do not feel that all, or even most kids, suffer from parents working. I know there are people that will say they do, I do not feel that way.
Just like it offends people to be told there children our suffering, it offends me to hear that I'm doing my kids an injustice by not working, or they need the social aspect of daycare, you know all those blah blah's that working and SAHM's hear. (BTW Gem i'm not saying you said this)
I do have a college degree myself and feel fortunate enough that I did have a career for 8 years before leaving it. I have hopes that at some point in my life, I will return to a career. (politics ya think??) Gem I think you ARE wonder women. Seriously, look at you cooking from scratch, attending all your children events, woohooo for you. I mean that seriously and not sarcastically. 20 hours/week is great! If i had a chance to do something like that in a career I enjoyed, I'd do it too. I think that is one way you can have the best of both worlds. Am I going back on my stance? I don't think so.... there needs to be more people that feel that way, or could do it.
Now enlighten us and tell us what kind of medical doctor you are??

Anyone else have comments?? What's the point of a blog if I don't get any comments? Go ahead, come out of lurking.....heck comment about my chickens if you want:)

ps can ya tell that if people are offended, mad, hurt, etc by something I say I freak out?? I can't say i'm constantly worried what people may think, feel, etc otherwise I'd never open my mouth, blog, etc (that could be good LOL) but I don't like people to be hurt by something I said without me letting them know I still appreciate them, there thoughts, feelings, etc. I can't just let things go to easily. Somethings I can, but when it comes to friends whether that be via the internet world or IRL, i hate to make them feel bad, mad, etc

2 Years

It has been just over two years that I have been a SAHM! I had to check back in my blogs to see what the exact date was. It was July 12, 2007 that I made the decision that enough was enough and I was answering the call that I had been putting out of my mind since the day we decided to have children. It was time for me to go home to my babies. To my husband. Time to dedicate myself to my family instead of a career and family. I firmly believe you can NOT have both. Something, or someone, will get the short end of the stick and having done both career and mom, it'll be the kids.

I now get to put my kids to bed and be here when they wake up in the morning. I get to put them down for naps, or lay beside C'man at nap time. They get to play all day if they want. I feed them all there meals. I monitor the juice intake, which is VERY minimal. We bake cookies, we swim, just get to enjoy the day without being rushed out the door to daycare, rushed home after daycare to hurry up with supper, baths and right to bed.

NOW....as any reader may read, it's not all paradise. Oh boy. We read how Miss A can have such fits and frustrate me to no fricken END!! But lets just leave it at that.

This is where I belong. Personally this is where any mother belongs. HOWEVER, I do fully understand that some times it's just not feasible. But for those that worry about the quality of life they would have if they didn't have that extra income?? Forget it!! This quality of life is way better for all involved.

That being said, I'm reading In Praise Of Stay At Home Moms. I had to stop reading b/c I needed a highlighter. The first part was OK but now that I'm 1/2 way thru I'm enjoying it. I would gladly lend out my copy if anyone would like to borrow it!!

Just One Of Those Days

How many of you have caught yourself saying that? or at least thinking that? It doesn't matter if you have children, husband, dogs, cats, etc we've all been in situations where we find ourselves thinking that. I can remember days at work screaming 'AHHH it's been just one of those days folks!'
I think I've had more of those 'weeks' being a SAHM. This week is no exception. My patience level is fried. I usually get this way when I have to much going on. I'm thinking it's time to re-evaluate things but I keep putting it off b/c I'm not sure what I SHOULD give up or want to.
I heard yesterday on the news, and then an article today on The Today Show about a mom who was having 'one of those days' and kicked her two 10 and 12 year old out of the car for the endless bickering they were doing. How many of you heard about it? Better yet, how many can relate?
Do i think she's a bad mom for what she did? Certainly not. Do I agree with what she did? No . But can I relate? Yeah, really who can't?
I can't believe she didn't just ride around the block and pick her up or even just down the road. The older girl ran after her mom and got back in the vehicle, but not the 10 year old. (do I see a strong willed child in the 10 year old? Certainly!!) But could she have done much worse? I think so.
Will everyone had learned a lesson after this?? Oh man do I believe so. I bet those girls will stop bickering the next time there mom tells them to stop it:) I've actually done this to my parents. They would go to a near by city and I never wanted to go. I was probably 8 to 10 years old??? Or maybe I wanted them to convince me to go, not telling me we're going. I remember one time they finally said 'fine, stay home!!' They drove away. I couldn't believe they left me. Now granted we lived in a small town, @ 500 people and really NOTHING was going to happen to me. They ended up just riding around the block and picking my sobbing body up off the driveway and away we went. Who won this battle?? I'm thinking I did b/c they came back and got me!
But there was a time when I was 18?? and my parents wanted me to go on vacation with them. I did NOT want to go. And guess what? They left without me. I was honestly shocked at first but then what could they do. Can't physically, or even mentally, make a 18 year old go.
I just finished reading The Strong Willed Child by Dr Dobson and he talked about doing just that. And that very soon the child will be on there own. Parents need to let there child know they trust them and put them to the test. Hmmm did my parents read that book? It worked. I was perfectly fine home 'alone'. I had no parties. Altho I did threaten to mow the yard by putting a BIG 'R' in the middle of the yard. (my dad freaked) I'd never even ran a lawn mower so I was clueless. I did mow, but was almost done when my neighbor came over and showed me how it was a self pusher?? is that what that's called?? I just needed to pull a lever to make it work. Gee thanks!!
In conclusion, I think we really need to try and sympathize with the mother who left her children along side the road. It may be hard for some of you to relate, but I'm thinking many of you may be shaking your head thinking I can SO relate!!
What do you all do when you're having one of those days?? Honestly, share with me, and maybe others, how you deal with every day bickering. Right now my children are at the farm with there Papa checking cows. Many of you don't have that available to you and must just stick it out.

***Give away coming on MONDAY!! Entries for the following:
-posting a comment
-becoming a follower
-linking to my giveaway in your blog

THREE chances to win!! Considering my current 'stats' of visitors, you have a pretty darn good chance!!

Dr Laura

I'm listening to Dr Laura on Focus on the Family. Are you all familiar with her? She's talking about how important a job it is being your child's mom! And with that, being a stay at home mom. (SAHM). She has a new book out: In Praise Of Stay At Home Moms. It's very encouraging b/c they are talking about why it's important to be a SAHM. Seems we always hear the stories about how hard it is to be a working Mom. But for many, that's a choice. You don't have to live in the beautiful house with 2 car garage and newer cars, wear new clothes, etc. But let me tell you it's no easy task being a SAHM either. It has challenges just as much as being a working mom. But I take it any day over working outside the home.

I really listened carefully when they talked about the transition becoming a SAHM from a working mom. Oh man how I can relate!! Been there. I could so relate to the lady saying how it feels like you're catapulted into being a SAHM. You try to find groups to belong too, but can't seem to find somewhere to fit in. Feeling like a fish out of water. That was so how I felt when i started staying home. I remember my first MOPS I went to, I thought there is no way I can fit in here. I felt so out of place. And like the speaker said, felt like she was at a Betty Crocker convention. That is so true. NOW i feel like I fit in no problem. It was just that transition that was SO hard.

And the great question I'm sure we've all been asked while in a group setting of any sort and someone asks you:

'And what do you do?'

Dr Laura's response: "I take a house and make it a home"

No doubt we should talk with great pride in what we do, and then share an exciting story that just happened!! Or something that humbled you in to realizing how important it is how you're home.

Comments about how your kids are better adjusted, etc on either side, are worthless she says.

Tell you what, I'm feeling like this book should be a give away!!! What do you think? I'll give you details in a later post! But I do know that you need to be a SAHM to enter. I think we need to support one another. I feel there is more support for those that work outside the home moms, I know b/c I was part of that group. I know for certain there is far less support for the SAHM's. I've been on both sides of the fence

Random Friday Night Thoughts

I found this totally cool website for online scrapbooking It looks totally cool and something i could find myself spending hours and hours on. I've done the snapfish album and that leaves me stressed out, staying up late, and thoroughly irritated when pictures don't all download properly. Not a lovely sight at 1230 AM when you are already exhausted from just the day in general. So i will have to check this out in the days to come.

There is no TGIF when you're a SAHM. Seriously tho, think about it. There are days where i wish I could escape like I did while i worked. I was able to escape the demands, pressures, etc of my job Friday, Saturday and Sunday. No such thing now:) Not wanting to sound ungrateful, I'm not. I'm happy I'm home!!

My sister just called as I was typing this and another 'tiff' has arised b/w us. As my mother just told me 'Thanksgiving is going to be fun for you this year". Oh yes it will! Thanks for reminding me.

I was asked to get Congressman King signs out this weekend in two towns where i know like no body! I have left a message for our co-chair for the central committee and am hoping and praying that she can help me out.

I'm feeling a tad overwhelmed with everything not only with politics but life in general. C'man isn't sleeping all night waking up whatever time the monsters in his room wake him up. I'm still battling a kidney infection and while the pain is nothing compared to what I had Sunday night, I'm exhausted. If i didn't know better I'd think I was pregnant. I could sleep all day if i was allowed to! Feeling kind of nervous about what could be causing the exhaustion.

Then there's the purses. I have parties and craft fairs coming up like crazy! Trying to keep them all straight and ordering purses like crazy! I'm going to be sleeping in a bed of purses one of these days. Actually maybe I'll be taking a nap in a bed of purses:)

Speaking of bed, I must get there now! 6AM comes WAY to early. Gotta love waking up to the shouting of MOMMMMYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! POTTY!!!!! or whatever else that lovely daughter of mine can think of saying to get me out of bed!

Am I cut out for this

I'm starting to wonder if i'm cut out for this SAHM business. Man I want to love it and be happy but i'm struggling. The days get long, the kids have been whinny, and i'm exhausted. I feel like i'm doing a crap job b/c the kids are so demanding. But then, like now, when they are sleeping i start to feel re-energized. But then they wake up so quick and i'm thrown back in the ring. My patience levels are about maxed out. I so wish just one nite every two weeks even, i could get together with other moms over drinks and greasy food:)

Aren't they sweet tho playing side by side, even if A is eating SAND

BUT i am still getting ready for my garage sale and i'm feeling very good about that. I have so much stuff it's rather sad. I had a friend buy over $53 worth of A's stuff and another one coming to go thru C's stuff. Then i have gobs of home interior stuff and then mine and my moms clothes! Wooohooo..not sure what i'll do with the money, assuming i'll make some:) The money i make off the kids clothes i plan on keeping cash on hand for things that pop up that they need (socks, underwear are MUCH needed right now) That money is theres, but everything else, for me. Suggestions??





Then on the purse front i have officially booked my september with parties. I'm so stoaked. So that boosts my confidence. I currently have 4 with a 5th in the works.





Offer me suggestions on what i could do with the garage sale money:)


Later

Uggg

Wow what a night. I'm not sure what Miss A's problem is but she will NOT sleep. She has a cold, maybe getting some teeth but last nite was horrible. She went to bed by 7 after barely napping all day and at 1030PM she as up. I thought it had to be like 3 AM. I had just fallen asleep. I was so annoyed. I don't handle this waking up business very well. Never have, never will. I need my sleep, uninterupted too. DH has a cold so i now i have THREE sick babies. I'm sure my turn is coming. So, we were up till midnight. We would set her down and she'd play and be happy then in 2 min she was wailing. I tried earlier to let her CIO (cry it out) and DH came and took her. She fussed off and on sleeping a couple minutes here and there. Finally around midnight she fell asleep in DH's arms. I finished my shopping @ this online pharmacy store. The only place I could find A's binkies. So i took her and she immediatly woke up. At which point DH took her in the the bedroom downstairs and i went upstairs. I couldn't take it ANYMORE.

6AM DH wakes me up, he's leaving for work. A slept 6 hours of which 3 of them were restless. I came downstairs and of course she wakes up and starts crying at the site of me. Hmmm...i felt like doing the same!

9AM she is now sleeping!!!!!

Mr C man is watching Spongebob, one episode. Show drives me nuts. He is a little touchy too but at least he sleeps at nite. That is once he falls asleep. The crib is coming down and he's going to have to sleep in the toddler bed. He gets out of the crib. He loves his crib but if he can get out then it's time to go the toddler bed.

Daddys little girl and she's needing more daddy time. Obviously this was taken a couple weeks ago.

I'm tired, have had a neck ache and just need a break. Oh crap, i've been at this 4 weeks now and i'm already saying i need a break. I knew this stay at home wouldn't be easy but i'm EXHAUSTED! THis is the longest i've sat in probably 4 weeks, aside from sleeping. My patience level leaves a lot to be desired. DH is working this week at the post office so at least he's out of my hair. I can be such a schedule person. Doesn't have to be minute by minute but i like some structure. As in DH leaving to go do farm work by 7 or 8 and then coming home 5-6. Does that make sense?

No regrets a/b leaving my job just wish i could get a better handle on staying home, or on me!

I'm home

Here i am now a stay at home mom, and loving it It is so wierd to just enjoy the day. No worries a/b having to wake up at 6AM and making sure i get to bed on time. No thoughts thru out the day of wondering what my kids are doing without me. No crying from the C Man when i leave each AM or no horrible crabby moods to come home too. I can get supper ready all day if i want. I don't have to rush around trying to manage kids, husband and supper all in the first 15 min of me getting home at night. No more work 'issues' nonsense crap brought on b/c someone has to much time on there hands. No more eating at 1130 every day and be careful to make sure i'm back or done eating by 1230. So yeah, i'm glad to be home! It has it's challenging moments but all in all so far so good.

Yesterday after nap time Mr C and I went to town to pick up insurance quotes, mail letters and get some groceries all while daddy stayed home with miss A. I found baby kittens in our barn so the last two AM's we make trips out to see them. Evenings have been spents outside watching C and A swim. Miss A gets me up b/w 6-630, but it just doesn't seem so bad having her wake me up vs my alarm. Yeah i'm still very tired and probably will be the rest of my life. BUT i could lay down and take a nap if I really needed too.

We are planning on heading out East here in september so i'm busy checking out airfare. Speaking of East coast, my Easy coast friends, please if any of you read this drop me a quick note so i can have your email address!! Didn't get that before leaving.

Ok mommy needs to get some lunch!! Babies are sleeping

I have RESIGNED

WEll folks, i did it! I have resigned from my job. I didn't leave on the terms i wanted to, but i must look forward now. I had 2 things that I said if happened i would resign. They were 1. work Fridays and 2. move my office from the tec bldg to the other bldg (the hen house) well the later happened today.
This is no rush decision i made. I have moved my office in the last NINE years more then 15+ times. I have been pooped on way to many times and enough was enough. Prior to me leaving last year on maternity leave some things were said to me that really hurt. I didn't want to come back and the only thing that made me go back was knowing i'd be in an office with the guys. WEll a couple weeks ago they changed who i had to 'report' too and that came to me in an email, didn't appreciate that AT ALL. But i got over it. Well today this thing came to me in an impromptu meeting called my the manager. Just told me Rachel your're moving back over here. Ok i thought.....i'm outta here. They were busy visuallizing how everything was going to look and eye contact by my 2 favorite co-workers was not looking at me. They knew what was coming.
Came back to my office, called my mom went and talked to two of the guys and then typed up my resignation. Office manager came over to 'talk to me' but the damage was done. I handed her my resignation. She left, came back later with the other 'manager' see here are you following all these 'manager's one of our problems is we have to many chiefs and not enough indians!!
They tried to persuade me otherwise but by then I saw an email come in from my dad saying 'Way to go' I'm never disappointed in you' I said i just got all the affirmation I needed from my husband and my dad.
Well then they told me I could leave at noon. THAT HURT!! I was fully planning on staying the 2 weeks and tying up the loose ends of which were MANY! I really lost it at that point. Of course not till they were gone and the two guys i work with came up and were shocked at what they just told me a/b leaving at noon.

SOOOOO here i am AT HOME!! I'm a STAY AT HOME MOM=SAHM that's me!! Dam proud too. I'm hurt that after 9 years i ended like this. Hurt that the real manager never came over to talk to me. Hurt that they didn't talk to me a/b this prior, but you know, that's life. It's full of hurts and disappointments and in the long run, i'm coming out ahead.

God will make it work, i know He will!! There were some things that kind of fell in to place prior to today that makes me think God was orchestrating this. But now i must not get discouraged being home. I must be happy for my hubby. I must not complain.

Dad called me this evening to see how i was doing. He said he's releaved for me and he even started to cry as we talked a/b me not ever disappointing him. Did i tell you he's an owner. There will be lots of explaining to come i'm sure, at the next board meeting. One of the owners daughters LEFT!? What the @#*$( happened!! Dad said an email was sent to the board members that i had quit, HATE that word. Said that i will be greatly missed...blah blah. Why am I always making the sacrifices and being pooped on. Myself and one other girl i work with always get the short end of the stick. We really do I'm not making this up.

So yeah, I'll stop now this has gotten way long. DH was over here saying are you recappng your story?? I replied yeah but i'm not sure any one even reads this. LOL Shot out if you do!

Well i should be able to blog more often now!!