Friday, December 14, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Happy Birthday
Our little man, or C'man, is THREE today. I want to share an email I'd sent to my dear friend Laura about the day he was born. I found it while cleaning up files on our computer and it moved me to tears as well as bring back the memories. Three years.....
So a year ago I was sitting here thinking this could be my last day here at work. Will it be today he’ll be born!? Shortly after lunch my cell ph rings…rock a bye baby tune. Oh my GOSH my heart skipped many of beats. Could this be IT!! Everyone that was at work with me, rushed to my office. It was BM's mom, BM's water broke. Come on up he’s coming!! So after saying my joyful good byes here at work I jumped in my car, called DH and said he’s coming!! It’s time!! I’ll meet you at the hospital!! I call mom, laura, ruth, and gosh I’m not even sure who else!!
Once to the hospital I was taken to the delivery room. Not sure how to approach the situation, I quietly walked in and was happily greated by BM and her mom. BM was having contractions and not even feeling them. We conversed the rest of the afternoon. To be honest I’m not even sure about WHAT!! DH made it and we all hung out for awhile. Then towards supper time it was decided we should go grab a bite to eat and let them have some quality family time. BM's dad and brother were there by then. Upon leaving her mom said, ‘go enjoy yourself, this is your last meal as just a couple’. We ate at subway, talking on the phone to everyone we could expressing our excitement. But we inhaled our food and got back to the hospital to find that BM was taking a bath. Her favorite!! We went to put our stuff in the family waiting room where BM's MOM came and said, she’s a 10, he’s coming!!!!!!! So we rushed down the hallway where we listened as our son was being born. Hearing her screaming brought tears to my eyes as I thought a/b the unselfish act she was doing. Going thru all this pain (she had no epidural) to give this child to a family knowing that she may never see again.
We stood in the hallway listening to her mom saying you can do it!! And I was saying push push sweety push!! I grabbed my phone calling my mom and LAURA. (remember that!!) You were the first to hear his cries!!! Yes he came out screaming!! BM's mom, came out and got us and said we could stand in the little room in labor and delivery. We quietly walked in and watched as our sweet baby boy laid whaling on the table to be cleaned up. Boy did he have a set of lungs. It felt like forever but here came BM's mom with our son warmly swaddled in blankets. She handed him to me and said ‘here he is’. I just cried and replied he’s beautiful!! I felt tears of joy and tears of sadness as his birth g’ma laid him in our arms!!
The next 72 hrs were long. But we also had some great time with BM. Times to encourage her in her future plans, thank her for this gift of life, and just how much we cared a/b her. We had some amazing moments that her, nor us, will ever forget. We met all the family, and I mean ALL the family, VERY ackward and will not let that happen again. We left that nite exhausted. I went to my parents thinking I’m a MOM!!
Emotions were high for me. I went from a wife to a mom and wife in less then 6 hrs. I was so happy but so emotionally warn out. Was I going to be a good mom? Would I love him like my own? Would BM be ok? Would he be ok? What happens if he stops breathing? I’m sure ‘normal’ questions and fear.
72 hrs later we left the hospital with our son. He was beautiful, amazing truly a gift from God and BM. We took some final pictures and said our goodbyes to BM and her mom. And then it was time for us to leave. Life began for us as we left that hospital as a family.
God bless BM for her decision. Our hope is that as this one year anniversary is here she continues to be happy with her decision. We are told she has had NO regrets. That she will continue to seek comfort in knowing he is loved and taken real good care of. That family and friends will continue to support her in any way she feels is needed. Not many days to past that we don’t think of her and wonder how she is. But we trust the Lord is taking good care of her and that she is loved by us.
Blessings to you BM. You made our dreams of having a family come true. Thank you!!
Three years ago NOW!!!
Goll it seems like that was just yesterday!! Now i'm off to find his CARS cupcake wrapper thingies that he took off with. Where would a 3 year old take them too?? Off on my mission.....
So a year ago I was sitting here thinking this could be my last day here at work. Will it be today he’ll be born!? Shortly after lunch my cell ph rings…rock a bye baby tune. Oh my GOSH my heart skipped many of beats. Could this be IT!! Everyone that was at work with me, rushed to my office. It was BM's mom, BM's water broke. Come on up he’s coming!! So after saying my joyful good byes here at work I jumped in my car, called DH and said he’s coming!! It’s time!! I’ll meet you at the hospital!! I call mom, laura, ruth, and gosh I’m not even sure who else!!
Once to the hospital I was taken to the delivery room. Not sure how to approach the situation, I quietly walked in and was happily greated by BM and her mom. BM was having contractions and not even feeling them. We conversed the rest of the afternoon. To be honest I’m not even sure about WHAT!! DH made it and we all hung out for awhile. Then towards supper time it was decided we should go grab a bite to eat and let them have some quality family time. BM's dad and brother were there by then. Upon leaving her mom said, ‘go enjoy yourself, this is your last meal as just a couple’. We ate at subway, talking on the phone to everyone we could expressing our excitement. But we inhaled our food and got back to the hospital to find that BM was taking a bath. Her favorite!! We went to put our stuff in the family waiting room where BM's MOM came and said, she’s a 10, he’s coming!!!!!!! So we rushed down the hallway where we listened as our son was being born. Hearing her screaming brought tears to my eyes as I thought a/b the unselfish act she was doing. Going thru all this pain (she had no epidural) to give this child to a family knowing that she may never see again.
We stood in the hallway listening to her mom saying you can do it!! And I was saying push push sweety push!! I grabbed my phone calling my mom and LAURA. (remember that!!) You were the first to hear his cries!!! Yes he came out screaming!! BM's mom, came out and got us and said we could stand in the little room in labor and delivery. We quietly walked in and watched as our sweet baby boy laid whaling on the table to be cleaned up. Boy did he have a set of lungs. It felt like forever but here came BM's mom with our son warmly swaddled in blankets. She handed him to me and said ‘here he is’. I just cried and replied he’s beautiful!! I felt tears of joy and tears of sadness as his birth g’ma laid him in our arms!!
The next 72 hrs were long. But we also had some great time with BM. Times to encourage her in her future plans, thank her for this gift of life, and just how much we cared a/b her. We had some amazing moments that her, nor us, will ever forget. We met all the family, and I mean ALL the family, VERY ackward and will not let that happen again. We left that nite exhausted. I went to my parents thinking I’m a MOM!!
Emotions were high for me. I went from a wife to a mom and wife in less then 6 hrs. I was so happy but so emotionally warn out. Was I going to be a good mom? Would I love him like my own? Would BM be ok? Would he be ok? What happens if he stops breathing? I’m sure ‘normal’ questions and fear.
72 hrs later we left the hospital with our son. He was beautiful, amazing truly a gift from God and BM. We took some final pictures and said our goodbyes to BM and her mom. And then it was time for us to leave. Life began for us as we left that hospital as a family.
God bless BM for her decision. Our hope is that as this one year anniversary is here she continues to be happy with her decision. We are told she has had NO regrets. That she will continue to seek comfort in knowing he is loved and taken real good care of. That family and friends will continue to support her in any way she feels is needed. Not many days to past that we don’t think of her and wonder how she is. But we trust the Lord is taking good care of her and that she is loved by us.
Blessings to you BM. You made our dreams of having a family come true. Thank you!!
Three years ago NOW!!!
Goll it seems like that was just yesterday!! Now i'm off to find his CARS cupcake wrapper thingies that he took off with. Where would a 3 year old take them too?? Off on my mission.....
Thursday, December 6, 2007
I'm here
Sorry I'm here....been having internet problems and been on the phone with my provider MANY of times in the last 48 hours. On hold with them right now. It's snowing pretty good here. Looks like a winter wonderland. Oh and i tried round number THREE of Christmas pictures. I'll post them too. I think i'm going to just stick with the first idea of writing a letter and on the back side putting pictures from through out the year.
OK posting now to see if this will work. What a mess I tell ya!!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Pictures Round One AND Two
We attempted pictures today. Note ATTEMPTED!! First attempt was at HyVee. Well Miss A was thrusting herself before we even got in the room to have them done. C'man didn't want to do much either or when he was ready the camera lady wasn't. Ahhh..the camera lady. She SUCKED and that's putting it nicely. After about 30 min of what felt like pure torture, and exhaustion, she suggested we see what we had so far and if we don't have any she'll save them and we can add to them the next time we 'try again'. So i knew heading out of the room, she didn't get any good shots. That would be NONE, Zero, ZIPPO!!! She said to me i'm so sorry i just don't feel good, i was up all night and i'm just not with it today and neither our your kids!!! EXCUSE ME??? You don't feel good so you come to work in the first place and contaminant my kids and ME and then you try to pass the buck on MY kids not being in the mood, or C'man has chapped lips. Nice try lady!!! So yeah didn't even look at them. She handed me a coupon for 3 free sheets and no sitting fee the next time. When i told her we live 40miles away i think she felt just a tad bad. What should i do?? Let it be?? complain?
So then it was out to JC Penny's. They had an opening. Mind you we had the kids out of there Christmas clothes. We ate and then got them ready. Well Miss A was her normal fussy self unless she could walk around. But C'man was in rare form. He had a blast. Posing like Mr Mini GQ!!! So we did get a 3yr old picture....his b-day is 12-13!! Oh and one pretty good one of him and A together. They seem to cooperate just a little better at Penny's. But i scheduled another appt for Monday LATE afternoon. Will try that.
In the mean time i fully intend on trying to take some myself. Will get our tree out (not REAL excited about that) and I'll put them in front of it and try it. I'd like to get something b/c it's much cheaper to order cards via snapfish then thru Penny's!! Which i won't do anyway....
Miss A has a horrible cough and it sometimes sounds like croup to me. C'man was up a lot coughing last night too. I really was seriously thinking a/b cxl my appt. I should have!
So then it was out to JC Penny's. They had an opening. Mind you we had the kids out of there Christmas clothes. We ate and then got them ready. Well Miss A was her normal fussy self unless she could walk around. But C'man was in rare form. He had a blast. Posing like Mr Mini GQ!!! So we did get a 3yr old picture....his b-day is 12-13!! Oh and one pretty good one of him and A together. They seem to cooperate just a little better at Penny's. But i scheduled another appt for Monday LATE afternoon. Will try that.
In the mean time i fully intend on trying to take some myself. Will get our tree out (not REAL excited about that) and I'll put them in front of it and try it. I'd like to get something b/c it's much cheaper to order cards via snapfish then thru Penny's!! Which i won't do anyway....
Miss A has a horrible cough and it sometimes sounds like croup to me. C'man was up a lot coughing last night too. I really was seriously thinking a/b cxl my appt. I should have!
Monday, November 26, 2007
Working Cattle
For those of you thinking DH got beat up over some hot Thomas toy @ Target, fear not. He actually was beat up (by me) while working cattle. Let me explain. The day after T'giving isn't only for shopping but the day DH, his brother, dad and the vet work cattle. Working cattle means shots and de-nutting them. You know, Rockie Mountain Oysters?? Ever heard of them?? Well it's the nuts/testicle of a cow!! EWWW but you want to know what?? there are Rocky Mountain Festivals around here!! and 'stags' where the men EAT THEM!! They are a delagasie!! Yup people actually eat them. Around here the only ones eating them are the dogs and that grosses me out to no end then we're talking people eat them??? oooffftttaa.
In order to do this someone, DH, had to coral the cow into a shoot. From there the gate is slammed shut (brothers job), and well you know the other 'stuff is done' Well DH is the lucky one that usually ends up getting the cow coraled. The vet is a chicken and wants to do things in a more complicated way then DH and brother prefer which means more stress gets put on the cow. I mean come on, would you like to be shoved in a shoot and then realize you're going to get your manly hood chopped off. So the cow kicked DH in the knee and the door got slammed shut on his face.
That's what happened to poor dh. Every year he can get pretty beat up but this is the worse. Now he's hobbling around and that blood won't come off of his nose. His head is looking much better and actually so is his nose. I'll have to take an updated picture much to his displeasure.
There you have it. I know i have some readers that aren't familiar at all with this 'farming' stuff so if you have any questions, ask away:) Or email me.
In order to do this someone, DH, had to coral the cow into a shoot. From there the gate is slammed shut (brothers job), and well you know the other 'stuff is done' Well DH is the lucky one that usually ends up getting the cow coraled. The vet is a chicken and wants to do things in a more complicated way then DH and brother prefer which means more stress gets put on the cow. I mean come on, would you like to be shoved in a shoot and then realize you're going to get your manly hood chopped off. So the cow kicked DH in the knee and the door got slammed shut on his face.
That's what happened to poor dh. Every year he can get pretty beat up but this is the worse. Now he's hobbling around and that blood won't come off of his nose. His head is looking much better and actually so is his nose. I'll have to take an updated picture much to his displeasure.
There you have it. I know i have some readers that aren't familiar at all with this 'farming' stuff so if you have any questions, ask away:) Or email me.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Thanksgiving 2007
Thanksgiving yesterday was quite by my parents. Just DH, myself and the kids. Then my G'pa and a family friend. The feast was great!! WAY to much food. I wished my camera wouldn’t have ran out of memory space and battery b/c I laughed so hard when I saw dad walk from the garage to the neighbors tree with this at least 12 ft board. Wondered what in the heck!?? Well he got the dogs toy stuck in the tree and he was going to try and get it out with that. Well mom and I watched and things were not going well. Shortly there after he was in the garage and out he came with a ladder. Oh my goodness he was going to climb the ladder AND use this 12 ft board that when lifted in the air that high got top heavy. I grabbed the camera but the sound wasn’t on. We called DH to go out and help b/c we (mom and I) knew this was going to end with either dad on the ground or the board thru a car windshield. Jeff got it out in one try but by then I was laughing so hard and the words coming out of dad’s mouth were hilarious. I so wish the sound, even if the video didn’t turn out, would have been on. You all would have been laying on the floor holding your stomachs!!
So yes that was a funny part of the day as well as C'man and G’pa eating the turkey NECK and HEART!! Oh my gosh is was horrible. Video below showing it….Carson thought it was the best thing since butter on bread.
We had plenty of food and everyone was stuffed. I brought some wine to wash it all down with. $4.99 WINE (is that even considered wine?!) but man we all thought it tasted pretty darn good!!
DH was crazy enough to go shopping this am. He shined his cell phone light in to my eyes @ 430 asking me if I wanted anything… I mubbled ‘you are freakin IN SANE’ Well he ended up not leaving till 7 (he said he had a gut ache) and yes he shopped. Best Buy wasn’t bad but Target was horrible. He called me and said ‘it’s NUTS in here. I’m shopping with 500 WOMEN who are nasty to one another and have no regards for anyone or thing” I chuckled and said THAT’S why I stay home.
He went to Lowes, Menards, HyVee AND K-Mart. I think he HAD to been smoking something to do all of that!!! Now he’s heading out to work cattle. I think he’ll be crashing by 6 tonite. If the shopping didn’t do him in the cattle most certainly will. Hopefully he has enough energy to stay alert with the cows. He’ll come home bruised, beatin and exhausted if he isn’t!
What did you all do for Thanksgiving?? Any family traditions shared? New ones started? Any hilarious moments at your gathering???
So yes that was a funny part of the day as well as C'man and G’pa eating the turkey NECK and HEART!! Oh my gosh is was horrible. Video below showing it….Carson thought it was the best thing since butter on bread.
We had plenty of food and everyone was stuffed. I brought some wine to wash it all down with. $4.99 WINE (is that even considered wine?!) but man we all thought it tasted pretty darn good!!
DH was crazy enough to go shopping this am. He shined his cell phone light in to my eyes @ 430 asking me if I wanted anything… I mubbled ‘you are freakin IN SANE’ Well he ended up not leaving till 7 (he said he had a gut ache) and yes he shopped. Best Buy wasn’t bad but Target was horrible. He called me and said ‘it’s NUTS in here. I’m shopping with 500 WOMEN who are nasty to one another and have no regards for anyone or thing” I chuckled and said THAT’S why I stay home.
He went to Lowes, Menards, HyVee AND K-Mart. I think he HAD to been smoking something to do all of that!!! Now he’s heading out to work cattle. I think he’ll be crashing by 6 tonite. If the shopping didn’t do him in the cattle most certainly will. Hopefully he has enough energy to stay alert with the cows. He’ll come home bruised, beatin and exhausted if he isn’t!
What did you all do for Thanksgiving?? Any family traditions shared? New ones started? Any hilarious moments at your gathering???
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Thanksgiving
Yeah!! I can finally type. For the last couple days i could not post!? I did some reserach and made some changes....seems to be working. It's cold here. My feet are freezing, need to go get my fuzzy slippers on. What will i do when it's actually like 0 degrees out there instead of 32 now!? But it's the wind making it feel even colder.
Off to my parents tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Please take a moment and think about the things you are thankful for!! Just to be a little snarky, i'm thankful my kids are napping right now. It's been a tough couple days with them.
Gobble gobble....
Off to my parents tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Please take a moment and think about the things you are thankful for!! Just to be a little snarky, i'm thankful my kids are napping right now. It's been a tough couple days with them.
Gobble gobble....
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
She was a good one
I'm referring to my car of course:) My, or rather OUR, Honda Accord is gone. She has gone to a new home. Lots of memories in that car. We brought C man home from the hospital in that car.
DH leaving the hospital with Carson and I in back!!
Carson in the back of the Honda. It was SOOO cold!!
I drove it back and forth to work for SEVEN years. It's been to omaha who knows how many times for all my IVF trips. It's seen its days of happiness and sadness. Happiness when we brought C man home after all the discouraging trips to Omaha for IVF treatments. Man if that car could talk i'm sure she'd have some pretty good stories to tell. I bet she could tell of the time i had to pull over and give myself a shot and talked to myself outloud that i can do this!! Just poke yourself dog gone it and be done with it. Or the stories she could tell about talking myself out of tickets to mr cop man or the one hell of a ride we had bareling down a ditch at 60+ mph after loosing control. The one HAD to been a good one to hear recited:)
Carson now!!!
Carson having one least seat in it.
So yeah, she went to a new home, and i think a good one at that. She started having some issues a/b 9 months ago, new tires needed, breaks, and then she got real sick and her check engine light came on. Luckly we were able to easily fix that however here again it came on and we sold it with it on. We didn't really need her anymore b/c i'm not driving to and from work and I wanted to scale back on expenses (insurance, licensing, etc) just didn't seem necessary to hold on to her.
So yeah, here you go an entire post, and a rather long one at that, about my CAR for gosh sakes!! but yes the memories it holds. Enjoy the pics and honda monda.....may you enjoy your new home.
Your faithful driver
DH leaving the hospital with Carson and I in back!!
Carson in the back of the Honda. It was SOOO cold!!I drove it back and forth to work for SEVEN years. It's been to omaha who knows how many times for all my IVF trips. It's seen its days of happiness and sadness. Happiness when we brought C man home after all the discouraging trips to Omaha for IVF treatments. Man if that car could talk i'm sure she'd have some pretty good stories to tell. I bet she could tell of the time i had to pull over and give myself a shot and talked to myself outloud that i can do this!! Just poke yourself dog gone it and be done with it. Or the stories she could tell about talking myself out of tickets to mr cop man or the one hell of a ride we had bareling down a ditch at 60+ mph after loosing control. The one HAD to been a good one to hear recited:)
Carson now!!!
Carson having one least seat in it.So yeah, she went to a new home, and i think a good one at that. She started having some issues a/b 9 months ago, new tires needed, breaks, and then she got real sick and her check engine light came on. Luckly we were able to easily fix that however here again it came on and we sold it with it on. We didn't really need her anymore b/c i'm not driving to and from work and I wanted to scale back on expenses (insurance, licensing, etc) just didn't seem necessary to hold on to her.
So yeah, here you go an entire post, and a rather long one at that, about my CAR for gosh sakes!! but yes the memories it holds. Enjoy the pics and honda monda.....may you enjoy your new home.
Your faithful driver
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Day after Halloween
Weeee...did we have fun last night trick or treating with th ekids. As you can see from there costumes aren't they just ADORABLE!! A was simply the cutest girl i'd seen all night. Cuter then the daycare baby whom are very close in age, she was a pumpkin and really, that fitted her if you know what I mean. We started off the afternoon with naps and then i tried C's costume on. Lion #1 new this year, well i got it at a garage sale. He did NOT like it. He's been scared of that thing now since I took it out of the bag. BUT he did not have a problem wearing the one her wore last year. Then miss A who has a terrible cold slept ALL afternoon. WE dressed her after she finally woke up and caputured some great shots of the two of them.
We ate at club casmo http://www.clubcasmo.com/ before heading to a couple homes and then to the nursing home. It is so nice to do this inside however it had to been 100 + degrees in there. I really like the man who for every 1 piece of candy he'd hand out, he pocketed 4 for him. hehe A caught on real quick that the residents had candy in there buckets!! C was polite and said his thank you's after taking a HANDFUL of candy. Some residents were trite that they only could 
have 1, or 2 but others, they'd say 'ohhhh sweetie...take MORRRREEE' i was like no really this is quite enough b/c they'll stop on there way back up the hall. They scored more candy then will ever eat. I think just a couple weeks ago i thru out some of last years!! We aren't real big candy eaters here.
have 1, or 2 but others, they'd say 'ohhhh sweetie...take MORRRREEE' i was like no really this is quite enough b/c they'll stop on there way back up the hall. They scored more candy then will ever eat. I think just a couple weeks ago i thru out some of last years!! We aren't real big candy eaters here.Exhaustion settled in and colds were getting the best of the kids. It was good to get home and C didn't want to get out of his costume. Enjoy the shots!
Rough nite of sleep for all. I woke up @ 315am to A's light on. There she sat in her bed and C was sitting in her rocking chair. I shooed him back to bed protesting like crazy. He didn't fall back to sleep till @ 515!! Grrrr on top of this i came downstairs this AM to the rug gone in the dining and kids room!! Apparently Mocha must have ate some road kill and crapt'd it out all over the freakin place!! DH said i'm glad i didn't see it. I replied, 'no you're glad I didn't see it' So he's doing his carpet cleaning this AM bright and early. Dang dog!!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
early at em
I spent ALL day selling purses at an employee fair of some sorts. Man what a long day. Up at 6 kids to sitter by 7 and they were not happy with me. C man would crawl in bed every time i turned my back. A was happy to be woken up but that changed once at the sitters. We left in the dark.....it's been JULY since we've been up this early and here of lately i'm lucky if i'm awake BEFORE 7!! C stood by the van and profused loudley that he did not want to go to gingies (sitter) and that he was even willing to go back to bed. I left him clinging to the van door while i took Miss A in. She sreamed so loud it woke up the 5 kids sleeping on the floor and i believe the neighbors! Back out to bring C kicking and screaming in to which A was quite b/c she was amused with his screaming. I go to hand him off to the oldest boy and by the time i turn my back they BOTH are screaming, crying, ahhhhh I shut the door and thought thank God i do not have to do this every day. ( i also couldn't help but smile and say a day of not hearing that)
DH picked them up and i left the 'fair' hr early. Enough was enough i was ready to get out of there. Barely made enough to pay the sitter. Came home to the kids playing in the yard and they were fairly happy to seem me but knew that it now would be time to come in. More screaming and protesting. DH left to unload wagons and I ate listening to them scream, whine, you name it. I do need to call the sitter and find out what they ate for lunch b/c i sure as heck can't figure it out based on what C is telling me. A was sleeping by 710 and C by 730. They both have colds, as does DH. I'd rather the kids have colds then DH, what a baby....but anyway
All is quite and i'm ready to turn in myself.
Night night!!!!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Road Trip 101
Butt buzzers....hate them dam things!! You know those things that are warning you to stop....those things that if you go over at 3 mph will shake the entire contents of your fully loaded van so hard that even your teeth clatter. Yeah...those things.
The kids and I went on Mankato MN where my sister and her family life. We left Thursday after the funeral. Which was very sad as to be expected. I got stuck behind 3 gravel trucks for the first 45 min of the 3 1/2 hr drive. So when we came to those rumble bars i had to go very slow over them. That woke the kids up who'd only been sleeping for 45 min!! I just about turned around i was so mad. They were a little on the fussy side and who could blame them. They probably thought the world was caving in on them.
We ended up having to stop 1 1/2 in to the drive at mcdonalds and play at the germville they had there. I hated to have them crawling around in there but i knew they wouldn't make it otherwise and it was to cold to do anything else.
We made it to Mankato and the rest of the trip there was uneventful Addie did end up falling asleep again. We went to the Mall of America on Friday. Grrr....it wasn't so bad till we had to eat lunch with 5000+ of my BFF's. Holy moly..it was like a feeding troft. Finding a place to sit was the worst and then standing in line and then sitting down trying to feed to small kids while everyone is bumping in to me, kids are trying to escape and THREE times water spilled on me. Our own, but none the less. Do NOT attempt to eat in the cafe court. Go to one of the nice sit down places. Well worth the money to keep you sane!!
Saturday we went to a pumpkinland and that was fun. FINALLY no rain that day and we saw the SUN!! Unbelievable but we did!
Sunday AM we left for home and once again the kids slept for like 1 hr of the trip. We did stop at my parents tho which is 1 hr from being home. That was a nice break and really the kids did great sitting in the car.
I think my van is very happy to be home. My sister drove to the mall and p'kin land and i swear to god that van was pushed harder then it ever had been. Man that women is a crazy driver. She thought the breaks were bad on the van, i politely said no....i think it's just you.
But we did have a nice time and it was a nice break and change of scenerary. Niece 'jo jo- 12 yrs old, had fun with her cousins and they all got to experience first had A's lovely screaming!!
ok folks i'm outta here....The Hills are on!! That show rocks my world:)
The kids and I went on Mankato MN where my sister and her family life. We left Thursday after the funeral. Which was very sad as to be expected. I got stuck behind 3 gravel trucks for the first 45 min of the 3 1/2 hr drive. So when we came to those rumble bars i had to go very slow over them. That woke the kids up who'd only been sleeping for 45 min!! I just about turned around i was so mad. They were a little on the fussy side and who could blame them. They probably thought the world was caving in on them.
We ended up having to stop 1 1/2 in to the drive at mcdonalds and play at the germville they had there. I hated to have them crawling around in there but i knew they wouldn't make it otherwise and it was to cold to do anything else.
We made it to Mankato and the rest of the trip there was uneventful Addie did end up falling asleep again. We went to the Mall of America on Friday. Grrr....it wasn't so bad till we had to eat lunch with 5000+ of my BFF's. Holy moly..it was like a feeding troft. Finding a place to sit was the worst and then standing in line and then sitting down trying to feed to small kids while everyone is bumping in to me, kids are trying to escape and THREE times water spilled on me. Our own, but none the less. Do NOT attempt to eat in the cafe court. Go to one of the nice sit down places. Well worth the money to keep you sane!!
Saturday we went to a pumpkinland and that was fun. FINALLY no rain that day and we saw the SUN!! Unbelievable but we did!
Sunday AM we left for home and once again the kids slept for like 1 hr of the trip. We did stop at my parents tho which is 1 hr from being home. That was a nice break and really the kids did great sitting in the car.
I think my van is very happy to be home. My sister drove to the mall and p'kin land and i swear to god that van was pushed harder then it ever had been. Man that women is a crazy driver. She thought the breaks were bad on the van, i politely said no....i think it's just you.
But we did have a nice time and it was a nice break and change of scenerary. Niece 'jo jo- 12 yrs old, had fun with her cousins and they all got to experience first had A's lovely screaming!!
ok folks i'm outta here....The Hills are on!! That show rocks my world:)
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I hate it
I hate suicide. Now seriously who really 'likes' it. Why am i even blogging about this!? Well we got news Sunday nite that DH's cousin did it. He shot himself!! Dam it!! WHY!?? Didn't he know what it would do to everyone!? Didn't he think about his father? His brother? his nieces, his family that loved him so much?? What was he THINKING!!!
He has been battling depression, bi-polar, and who knows what else for YEARS!! Probably since he was born some 50+ years ago. He was on meds but he's feel better and stop taking them. Once a year, or more, he'd receive shock treatments and it was being noted amongst my husband & BIL that this last treatment wasn't seeming to work.
I could go on and on about the last couple years and what has all happened to the poor guy but what good would it do. We all leave hard lives from time to time and while we may not have the depression, bi-polar, etc we all have our moments when we look from the ground up and think can i ever pull myself up!??
DH says his aunt is very bitter. I say she has every right to be BUT we can not begin to imagine how he was feeling. We don't know what it's like to feel so badly that you'd want to shoot yourself. People in this situation can't see past the moment they simply can't.
I can remember back to my IVF cycles and with each failed cycle i would wonder, what next? How much lower to the ground can i fall and still keep going. The last IVF cycle i did I hit rock bottom. I was lower then dirt, i was in the hole. I seriously could not see any sort of light what so ever. I cried in desperation to God saying' Why me?' Why are you doing this to me? How can you want to see me hurt so bad.
Maybe this is just some of what he was feeling!? Maybe he felt 10 ft UNDER. I dug myself out of that hole and stood up stronger then ever and said you have a plan for me?? Show it to me!!! But he couldn't see that. He hurt to much to pull his head up. His burdens were to heavy. Can you imagine feeling so burden you can't lift your head up!? How long had he been feeling this way? Years? Months? Days? Or maybe even just a couple min. We don't know. But now we need to pull ourselves up from wherever we are and look forward. We as a family need to support those left behind and encourage one another.
Suicide is tough. It's hard to put a positive spin on this funeral. This isn't the 2nd suicide funeral i've been to but dear GOD i pray it's the LAST!!
May he rest in peace. Peace from his illness. God loved him and God knew he was sick. God will clear his mind now and allow him to live a life of freedom. But his poor dad, his poor dad. To loose a son that you loved so much to something as tragic as suicide. I simply can not imagine. I simple can not.
I'll stop now as tears are welling in my eyes making the monitor very blurry.....will miss you Dennis. Will miss hearing about how much you love your dog, the stories of the college basketball teams you followed with such passion. You were a good man, friend, son, brother, uncle, cousin and master to your dog.
He has been battling depression, bi-polar, and who knows what else for YEARS!! Probably since he was born some 50+ years ago. He was on meds but he's feel better and stop taking them. Once a year, or more, he'd receive shock treatments and it was being noted amongst my husband & BIL that this last treatment wasn't seeming to work.
I could go on and on about the last couple years and what has all happened to the poor guy but what good would it do. We all leave hard lives from time to time and while we may not have the depression, bi-polar, etc we all have our moments when we look from the ground up and think can i ever pull myself up!??
DH says his aunt is very bitter. I say she has every right to be BUT we can not begin to imagine how he was feeling. We don't know what it's like to feel so badly that you'd want to shoot yourself. People in this situation can't see past the moment they simply can't.
I can remember back to my IVF cycles and with each failed cycle i would wonder, what next? How much lower to the ground can i fall and still keep going. The last IVF cycle i did I hit rock bottom. I was lower then dirt, i was in the hole. I seriously could not see any sort of light what so ever. I cried in desperation to God saying' Why me?' Why are you doing this to me? How can you want to see me hurt so bad.
Maybe this is just some of what he was feeling!? Maybe he felt 10 ft UNDER. I dug myself out of that hole and stood up stronger then ever and said you have a plan for me?? Show it to me!!! But he couldn't see that. He hurt to much to pull his head up. His burdens were to heavy. Can you imagine feeling so burden you can't lift your head up!? How long had he been feeling this way? Years? Months? Days? Or maybe even just a couple min. We don't know. But now we need to pull ourselves up from wherever we are and look forward. We as a family need to support those left behind and encourage one another.
Suicide is tough. It's hard to put a positive spin on this funeral. This isn't the 2nd suicide funeral i've been to but dear GOD i pray it's the LAST!!
May he rest in peace. Peace from his illness. God loved him and God knew he was sick. God will clear his mind now and allow him to live a life of freedom. But his poor dad, his poor dad. To loose a son that you loved so much to something as tragic as suicide. I simply can not imagine. I simple can not.
I'll stop now as tears are welling in my eyes making the monitor very blurry.....will miss you Dennis. Will miss hearing about how much you love your dog, the stories of the college basketball teams you followed with such passion. You were a good man, friend, son, brother, uncle, cousin and master to your dog.
Monday, October 1, 2007
tough life
Hello!! Sorry for the absence. I really have SO much i could blog about that it's almost easier to jsut not blog as to not overwhelm any readers.
Last week was a tough week for me. Especially Thursday. Addison is not sleeping well at nite and Carson is extremely whiny and not napping well. Thursday was the breaking point for me. I cried more then i smiled that day. EVERYTHING was going wrong and i felt i was living someone elses life. It took all my strength to put one foot in front of the other. Jeff is harvesting which means spending ALL day alone with the kids. The days can get long. My eyes burned so bad Friday from all the crying. Do you ever get that feeling like 10 lb sandbags on your eyelids!? I do not operate well with little sleep. That's why i don't want anymore kids. I need my sleep, and like 6 hrs at least and would prefer 8!!
Things are going better this week which includes Carson taking good naps, 2 hrs and addie!? Well she's still waking up during the nite but i let her CIO. BUT i don't think she woke up last night. Can't even remember.
I had two purse parties saturday and that made for a pretty good day!
So today i somehow caught some of Oprah. It was Dr Oz answering questions from males in the audience. He said that sex 4 x's a day can increase the life of your husband. Shit, it's not looking good for J.
Edited to change the sex to 4 x's a day was supposed to be 4x's/WEEK!! I about fell off my chair when i saw i typed /DAY!! Man not only would he be dead, so would I!!!
Last week was a tough week for me. Especially Thursday. Addison is not sleeping well at nite and Carson is extremely whiny and not napping well. Thursday was the breaking point for me. I cried more then i smiled that day. EVERYTHING was going wrong and i felt i was living someone elses life. It took all my strength to put one foot in front of the other. Jeff is harvesting which means spending ALL day alone with the kids. The days can get long. My eyes burned so bad Friday from all the crying. Do you ever get that feeling like 10 lb sandbags on your eyelids!? I do not operate well with little sleep. That's why i don't want anymore kids. I need my sleep, and like 6 hrs at least and would prefer 8!!
Things are going better this week which includes Carson taking good naps, 2 hrs and addie!? Well she's still waking up during the nite but i let her CIO. BUT i don't think she woke up last night. Can't even remember.
I had two purse parties saturday and that made for a pretty good day!
So today i somehow caught some of Oprah. It was Dr Oz answering questions from males in the audience. He said that sex 4 x's a day can increase the life of your husband. Shit, it's not looking good for J.
Edited to change the sex to 4 x's a day was supposed to be 4x's/WEEK!! I about fell off my chair when i saw i typed /DAY!! Man not only would he be dead, so would I!!!
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