Rest in peace

We laid Maxine to rest today. She didn't look herself laying in her coufin last night but she looked peaceful. She had a beautiful service. Pastor did just an amazing job with the message, just wondeful. She really made it a rejoiceful time. I played for the funeral today and i played a special song 'It Is Well With My Soul' I could feel her swaying to it with her eyes shut. She would have been so pleased with the service. BUT the weather was another thing. It was -11 this AM. The coldest day of the last TWO years!! If not more! It was so cold at the cemetary and the idea of putting her in to that cold ground makes me so sad. I'm so thankful that it's just her earthly body and that her soul is in heaven where it's warm.
Farewell Maxine. You were such a strong and determined women. Thank you for doing such a good job in helping to raise DH. Thanks for letting C'man sit on your lap and read to him. Thanks for teaching me this past summer how to make tomato juice. You were an amazing women you really were! You're legacy will live on on earth no doubt!
If my internet speed ever picks back up again I will post her obituary b/c it really says it all.

stranded

Hello!! I'm stranded in Eastern IA by a snow storm. It's simply NASTY out there. Although visibility has picked up, they still are advising no travel. I'm here with my parents, sister and C'man. I'm so glad Miss A isn't here as keeping her entertained here would be awful. The pool is over clorinated so you can hardly be in it. We are going to walk next door shortly for lunch. Dad is pacing and very ansty. He tried the roads out but said he couldn't tell if he was on the shoulder or road.

Maxine passed away 2AM saturday. Her last 24 hrs were not pleasant. She was in a lot of pain. We went to see her Friday night and said our good byes. Not responsive but she did moan when I sang. She also responded when I told her her cats are fat and happy. DH said his good byes too. We left him alone with her, he cried. So hard to see a grown man cry. But at least I know he has dealt with it. She is no longer here on earth but her legacy will live on forever.

ok must go. I'm using the hotel computer!!

Feeling blah

Kind of feeling blah. I think it's a combo of the weather, maxine's condition and being tired. I'm kind of disappointed in my purse auction so far. While i had a lot of interest only a couple bids so far. (thanks BFF-E!!!) I really need to move these purses. I want to get Spring ones in but can't till these are out. Just feeling discouraged. Still have time for bids so I pray more start coming in.

No word today on Maxines condition. But at my Bible study this AM we read a verse that really stood out to me: Hebrews 5: 14-15 "Since the children, as he calls them, are people of flesh and blood, Jesus himself became like them and shared their human nature. He did this so that through his death he might destroy the Devil, who has the power over death, and in this way set free those who were slaves all their lives because of their fear of death."

Do you think you'd fear death if you were staring it straight in the face?? I think I would! You always want to think you know where you're spending eternity, but when it's right in front of us don't you think you'd find yourself wondering??

Lent starts tonight. We have impositioning of the ashes service tonight at our church. I have to play. Planning on taking C'man with me and will leave A and DH home. (last night she was in bed by 7 and slept till 730!!)

Thanks for reading and really, i hope soon my posts will turn in to happy ones. Kind of depressing right now aren't they! Stick with me they'll get better. I did take pics of the place i work out:) Nothing grand but for those that don't know what life out in Iowa is like, you'll soon see. Or specifically life for me is!!

Not well

DH's aunt is not doing well. See previous posts about her and her cancer. At any rate at her doc appt yesterday he told her he did not want to continue treatments. That really comes as no suprise, but still hurts as reality settled in that she will not get better. I'm not sure how anyone, including herself thought things would get better. But at that point she mentally has given up. For such a strong women this is hard to imagine. Maxine has lived such a life I can only hope to be all that she was (well minus the stubborness).

It sounds as if it's just a matter of time. I have to confess, as i'm blogging i'm IM'ing my pastor. She went to see her today. Hospice was there and she asked for some time alone. Maxine was sleeping and Pastor woke her up. This is Pastors words:

"At first she was very unresponsive not sure if that was b/c she wanted to be (stuborness) or if she really was. She seemed disoriented and touchy, kept ignoring what she was saying, wanted water, juice, to set up, etc. But when she finally got totally woke up she seemed to be able to hear her when I was up close. The thing that she responded best to was when I sang to her. I said the Lord's Prayer after my general prayer for her and she did not join me surprisingly. But by the time I left she was hearing a little better. We talked about having new eyes to see in heaven...that's part of the Amazing Grace song. I was blind but now I see. ): I asked her if she was sure about going to heaven and she was not sure. Since she had no patience with my devotional upper room or even my reading the Bible to her, I just focused on John 3:16 and what that meant, what Jesus in her heart meant, etc. She did seem a little more secure in talking about death by the time I left. Not sure she was comfortable with it. I told her probably most people are not comfortable with dying . It's ok, but we can be sure about Jesus seeing us all the way, on earth or in heaven."

This is me now: I'm shocked at her not knowing if she's going to heaven or not. She is going to heaven I know she is. She is such a believer in God and I know that's where she's going. She knows Jesus died on the cross for her sins.

So yeah, things aren't looking good. I think it's time for the family to be with her. Pastor said the Hospice worker was with her this afternoon. That's not a good sign either. With the news of no more chemo and her realizing she will not be going home, I guess she figures it's time to give up.

Say a prayer if you would. Pray her to have peace and the family too. This is so hard loosing such a key person in that family. She is the glue that holds everyone together around the farm. She will be missed greatly. Never married she dedicated her life to teaching, helping raise nieces and nephews, her church, her cats, gardening, traveling and the farm. She loved C'man so much and they really had a beautiful bond. I will close the last picture I have with C'man and her before she lost all her hair

Brrr

It's very chilly in the farm house today. While we totally gutted the house, i mean like down to the 2x4's I thought i did a good job of insulating. IF ever did this again, big IF, or if any of you ever do this, do blown in insulation. I'm beginning to wonder how good i did b/c it's COLD in here. When the wind comes out of the north on a very windy day like today we darn near freeze!! Our heat pump can't keep up and the temp has been 67 since i came downstairs at 7.
We put all new windows in accept the front two. I know that's where 80% of the cold air is coming in from. If we'd get the trim on the windows i think that would help dramatically!

Kiddos are sleeping and have been since 11!! I know way early but something about going to church on Sunday's wears them out. Heck it wears ME out!! Children sermon today consisted of C man going up but Miss A couldn't STAND to be left behind. 30 seconds in she comes waddling down the aisle (i'm upfront b/c i play the piano) he makes sure Pastor knows his sister is coming. Well she doesn't sit still for NOTHING and C man CLEARLY is not paying attention. She goes back to daddy and C'man yells for her to come back. She goes BACK and he extends his arms out for her to walk right in to and gives her the biggest hug. Precious but a little out of content when Pastor is trying to tell the other 2 about how baby Jesus will be in the manager tomorrow. So yeah....that's how it went today.

Going to try and make it to the city this afternoon. DH's aunt is back in the hospital. LONG story but tell me....if she's not home for Christmas would you still have Christmas in her home?? I guess will find out tomorrow if she gets to come home but Hospice needs to find someone to stay with her 24/7. Isn't that what nursing homes are for? And i didn't even know there was such a service. WOW!!

ok off to go get warmed up in the kitchen!!

Merry Christmas everyone!! We are off to my parents tomorrow AM and then Christmas day is a hubbub of activity.

Thursday but my Friday

I don't work Fridays, so today was my Friday. Oh wait, let me say i don't work at my 'other' job on Fridays. I think i work harder at home Fri-sunday then i do at work:) Jeff called me at work and said he was on his way to the city with the kids and his aunt Maxine.

Ahh, Maxine. She is 88 years old, never been married, is a retired school teacher and dedicated to the church and making life grand for her cats. But here in the last year she was diagnosed with cancer. When we first were married she had breast cancer. So this was before Christmas that they told her she had THREE weeks to live b/c the cancer was in her liver!! She spent many days/weeks in and out of the hospitol literally fighting for her life. Well 3 months later she's still with us. She's a fighter all right. She lost her vision years ago and has a bum hip but that doesn't slow her down the least. In fact tonite she was out picking up her garden seed. How this women thinks she's going to have a garden this year is beyond me! but yeah, she lives for her garden.

So i met the crew at the local grocery store where we had supper. Maxine was unusually quite. I'm not sure if it's b/c she's tired or maybe she's irritated with me. I was a little iritated b/c i I like to go HOME after work. I don't want to stick around in the city any longer then need be. My weekend started at 5 today I want to go home. But yes Jeff was being his unselfish self and helping her out. It often seems to me tho that her needs come before our families needs when it comes to Jeff and Maxine. I almost feel bad typing this but that's how it feels. When we first married it was VERY hard for her to adjust to me being around. There were MANY of times that when we lived literally 15 steps from the back door to her door, b/w one another, that she would walk over and not just knock, but walk in to see why our phone line was busy! It was hard trying to get her to realize she couldn't do that!! So sometimes i harbor frustration about it all. I know that my mother in law often feels the same.

At anyrate, its friday in my book and guess what? So is tomorrow:) What i would give for a drink and a good book. But neither will be happening b/c i have neither in the house. I have my Spring Fling this weekend that i have been working very hard on getting displayers. I got 15 which is just a GREAT number!! After tanning today i went to the beauty school that is across the parking lot from the tanning place, and they booked a purse party!! They proceeded to follow me out to my car where they scavanged through the purses i've been hauling around in my trunk!! How cool, i was so proud of myself!

A's cold is back and mine is going away. She has my watering eye problem. C is happy as can be and right now i think he's still struggling to fall asleep. Mom and dad are coming for Palm Sunday where C will be waving his palm this sunday. I hope he does it!! Could be v cute! Next year A will be joining him for the palm waving.

Oh and for those wondering a/b the pics. That's my sister and C in the hot tub and my Dad and A in the pool.