Birthday Post

I realized I haven't done the birthday boy post yet! I think with all the drama going on it totally got over looked. But it can't be b/c this special little boy turned FOUR on the 13th. I'm not sure how to post back to a previous post, (anyone??) but if you look back on last years posts' i posted about the day he was born!

We had his party with his g'parents and one uncle and his God mother, on Sunday. On Saturday he got to open his presents from us and Miss A. I made rolls and put a candle in them for him. Here he is thanking Jesus for another year!!

Here are the pics of the big party. It was a John Deere themed party, special request by the little man!

Here he is opening up some of the many gifts:

This was from Miss A

Let It Snow, Let It Snow.....

Make is STOP!! We are knee deep in snow here in Iowa. There is a winter weather watch out for tomorrow (Saturday) too. That will more then likely be a Warning here by midnight. The bad part of that all? Our neighbor girl is getting married!! Can you imagine getting married knowing that there is going to be a blizzard warning?? What would you do? I'd be freaking out! Not like I could do anything about it, but still. I'd be calling all the farmers and snow plows begging them to get the guests here!! Will have to wait and see. I really want to go but yeah, it's going to be bitter cold, Jeff has to work, and I can't take the kids out if it's really nasty. Stay tuned for updates on that.
This AM I did bundle the kids up and sent them outside to play. C'man loves it but Miss A isn't to sure. She gets cold quickly and it didn't help that i couldn't find a good pair of mittens. Darn dogs keep running off with mitten, boot, etc (note single, not plural). So anyway out we went and well I'll let the pictures speak:

Then the dogs decided to get goofy and as a result they knocked Miss A flat into a snow pile. This was her reaction. She was ready to go in the house after that.

I hope the weather is OK by you all. I know many of you live in FL and TX and are enjoying much warmer weather then we are. The joys of living in Iowa:)

Thanks.....

Appreciate all the kind emails, thoughts, prayers, etc from many of you. It really means a lot and I would appreciate any advice on what to expect, or hearing from anyone, that has experienced a miscarriage. And don't these kind of situations just suck in wondering what to say to someone? Just like infertility you have to be careful what you say b/c yeah God knows, you don't want to offend or further hurt the person. Don't need to worry so much about that with me. So far just the hugs and friends nearby, helping out when needed. Or the daily calls from FF-S to see how I'm doing.
I did go in Monday for a Rogam work up. That's because my blood is O- and while that doesn't cause a miscarriage it is a shot you have to get after a miscarriage or at so many weeks in to a pregnancy. If someone else out there can better explain this to me, and DH, that would be greatly appreciated. So ANYWAY, here comes the humor in this. The nurse comes to give me the shot and tells me she's giving it to me in the arm. She's getting it ready and I tell her shots don't seem to bother me that much b/c of all the IVF treatments I did. Blah blah....then i swear to God she wound up and jammed a 10inch needle in to my arm muscle and BAM shot me up with 'stuff'. I was waiting for the needle to come out the other side of my arm. kid you not. I just about fainted.
When it was done I grabbed my coat, found DH and said let's get the hell outta here!!!!! Fresh air was needed ASAP!

Last night I just felt horrible, headache, stomach felt weird, etc and then this AM started bleeding really heavy. I called the doc and they asked me to come in ASAP. I ended up taking the kids to a fellow MOPS Mom, Sarah. She met me in the clinic parking lot and took the kids. Praise God for her!!! We talked about having a D&C but decided to continue to wait things out. My HSG levels are down to 120 and my hemoglobin is normal. Must continue to carry on and let nature work it's course. I think it's generally best to avoid a D&C but at the same time I'd like closure to this all and if that would make it that way then it might be worth it. Can anyone relate?? Has anyone had one?

That's the latest. I continue to wonder if it was the fall i had, or the stressful night with Miss A, or the thoughts of me wondering how can i do this? that caused this all to happen. But then i also remember, I'm not the first, and I'm certainly not going to be the last. I'd just like to all to be over by Christmas so i can enjoy the holiday with my family.

Well this isn't the topic i was hoping to blog about today. I was hoping I'd be blogging about C'mans 4th b-day, which was yesterday! I can't believe he's been a part of our lives for 4 years! Amazing little man he is. Which is strengthend even more when I realize how valuable life is. Over 4 weeks ago I found out I was pregnant. Remember me blogging about keeping surprises!? Well that was it. Thursday I went in for an ultrasound and we saw a baby and a heartbeat. I was measuring about 2 weeks behind what I thought I should be.
I know for sure the first day of my last period so I just knew I couldn't be only 5-6 weeks along. There also was a heartbeat, but not very strong. Strong if i was 6 weeks but not if I was closer to 8. But i left feeling good just seeing the HB. After all, Miss A had a real slow HB and she came too after a couple more weeks.
Friday I started spotting and then yesterday was worse. We went to the ER b/c i just really wanted an ultrasound, or a LBC (Live Baby Check). We didn't get that far. I had a pelvic and discussed options with the doc. He gave us a couple options. Go ahead and have the u/s and see if the baby was alive, if not go in for surgery that night and have a D&C or go home and come back Monday and see where we're at. What wasn't helping us either is that my HCG was 1287? I knew w/o even seeing 'the chart' that was low. It actually isn't low if I was 5-6 weeks, but yes, I know I'm further along then that.
DH and I decided to just come home and wait it out. The doc thought that was a good idea. I have to say, he was the kindest, most gentle man. Much like my dad, when he saw me cry, his heart and soul melted. I could tell he felt as bad as my own dad did.
So there you go folks. That's my news and I'm sorry to BFF-E, and other close friends, for not telling you. I'd been hesitant from the get go to 'spread the word' for this fear alone. It's much easier to type then to speak to others.

I'm coping pretty good. I cried hard last night and today was C'mans B-day party. I wanted to have it. After all, it wasn't his fault i miscarried. It was a nice party and he is loving his toys.

I can't help tho but think back to Thursday night when DH and I were having another battle with Miss A about going back to sleep. I remember sitting on the toilet thinking 'Dear God, how am I going to handle 3 kids, I just don't know how I'm going to do it.' Then I started spotting Friday. I told my pastor this and she said that's the spiritual 'side' of me coming out. I remember too the doc looking me in the eye and saying there are 2 things you need to know: 1. you did nothing to cause this and honestly i can't remember #2.

DH seems to be fine. I always feel bad for men. Expressing emotions is no easy task. I think his main concern right now is me and my emotional and physical well being. I hope he can deal with it. I'm able to manage knowing that I'm not the first one to deal with this and I'm certainly not the last. I think of my dear niece who miscarried in to her 4th month and had to go thru labor and delivery. How can ANYONE get thru that.

This is another walk in my journey of Faith in God that helps me get thru this. It reminds me how blessed we truly are with C'man and the miracle birth of Miss A.

I'm going to go ahead and request testing to be done. I'm not sure will actively try for another child, we weren't this time around either. But I'm certainly not going to put myself thru this without knowing if this is going to continue to happen. My FF-S said that's how she knew they were done having kids. She had repeated, and i mean at least 3 miscarriages, and then on to 2 C-sections, and mentally she just couldn't deal with it anymore. I understand that now!!

I'm not sure if I'm going to blog anymore this upcoming week or not. Don't be surprised if i never blog about this again, but know I may too. Not sure what coping mechanism I'll use, if any. I'm going to go build trains with my two little blessings and thank God for them!!

Tagged

Catching up on reading blogs and noticed I've been tagged by Wendi. I must first say that I 'know' Wendi via Hannah's Prayers which is a Christian Infertility Support group online. I followed her blog for I think a couple years now!? We have a lot in common, Infertility, adoption, pregnancy, TALL, toddler boys, you get the idea. So she tagged me and I'm so honored:) By the way Wendi, I got the clothes back:) I haven't gone thru them but I'm sure everythings there.

The Rules: go to Your Pictures file go to the 5th folder open up the 5th picture and post it then tag 5 people when you are done.

This Miss A and I messing around.

So i will tag: 1BFF-E,

2Mel-Bosom Buddies,

3Faith-Absolutely Normal Chaos,

4Angela

5-Sometimes We Do

OK now I need to go let these people know I tagged them!

Sadness

My heart is filled with sadness today, and probably for some time. My niece just started her 2nd trimester and miscarried yesterday. A beautiful baby boy named William. Her and her DH have been trying for years to get pregnant and then here of recently it was trying to STAY pregnant. This is the furthest she made it and things were looking good, till yesterday. She went to the bathroom and knew then. By the time she got to the hospital she was in full labor and there was nothing they could do. She delivered him @ 630PM and he was fully formed and alive. So very very sad. I just get tears in my eyes again.
So if you are a happy clapper kind of person, would you mind saying a prayer for 'Jill' that she would be able to grieve the loss of her baby and find the strength to carry one.
God be with you Jill and hubby!!

Better Then Sex Cake

How many of you have heard of this before? I was actually quite surprised my FF-La hadn't!? But maybe they call it something different. Anyway, it's a baked devils food cake, then you poke holes in it with a wooden spoon handle and pour:
Sweet & Condensed Milk
Miss Richardson Carmel
Spread with whip cream and top it off with crunched up Heath Bars.
OH MY GOSH DELICIOUS!! I have now made 4 cakes in the last 3 weeks. BUT only 2 have stayed here and the LAST one, well i think i ate over HALF of it and it's all on my rear. I told myself yesterday 'I really really REALLY shouldn't but i just have to, have to, HAVE TO!!' and darn it, it was DELICIOUS!!

The best part is the longer it sits, the better it gets. It sits in that Carmel and Sweet & Condensed Milk and just gets gooey yummy. I really should have taken a picture of it with a piece out.
So here's some pictures and if you'd like more detailed recipe, let me know! (wow that picture doesn't do it justice. Especially my attempt at putting chocolate on top?! Skip that part or do it better then i did:)
Now go make one, you'll love every bite of it!!

Oh and here we are @ Thanksgiving. Sorry for the untrimmed window and deck doors, in the back ground. That will all be changing in the months to come as we have hired a contractor to trim out the kitchen, put new storms in the only 2 remaining original windows AND sheet rock the entire garage! Oh happy day!!

y

The Advent Conspiracy

A video for your watching! The Advent Conspiracy
Hmm just got home from some power shopping with FF-S. I did put money in the bell ringers pot!!

Sorry for being absent. Thanksgiving kind of threw me for a loop. We had my family (sister, BIL, niece, my parents, my g'father, and then DH's parents) here. It went considerably well. Late that afternoon the kids and I headed up to my hometown where we went to my G'parents for supper. DH stayed behind b/c they are still harvesting corn and he had to work the next day.

I did not partake in any early AM shopping the day after Thanksgiving. The only thing I did was run to Bomgaars and picked up a couple things there. My mom stayed with the kids at there place. Did any of you go shopping early? Divulge your finds and what it was like?

I had a purse sale on Saturday that didn't go well at all. So disappointing when you work so hard and it fizzles on you. I would really like to have very little inventory heading in to Christmas and the New Year. I've emailed a couple people about hosting a BOGO sale so hopefully one of them will do it.

My secret/surprise has leaked to a couple people. See I'm so horrible at it. But i must wait just a couple more days before sharing b/c then I'll want to play and imagine even more.

Oh Miss A has been doing better with the sleeping and fits. I'm telling you all, 2 weeks ago was truly one of the worst weeks for me. I can't remember having that bad of a week in like ages!? Maybe since IVF? But even that was just days, not weeks. OK maybe it was years. Things are looking better and I've found a couple things that have worked. Like last night when she woke up and wanted the light on and I told her no. Since I hadn't gotten in bed yet, I was ready to battle. I told her she was going to sleep in the basement if she was going to keep screaming. She did. So i took her downstairs, thru the entire house (it's a long ways to the basement) and by the time we got 1/2 way down the stairs she told me she wouldn't fuss anymore.

And guess what?? I laid her back in her bed and didn't hear a peep out of her till 630AM. So yeah, it may have worked this time and next time it may not, who knows.

C'man is done with his binkies it would appear. On T'giving I gave them a Thomas Ball Pit thing to play in. All THREE kids (mine and niece JoJo) and we said no more binky now. I had been telling him no more binky when he turned 4, but now he tells me he is 4. (not till 12-13) So I guess he wants to be 4. The other day I sat here at the computer listening to him and Miss A play and I heard him say 'you want to go to school 'A'? I'll have to talk to mommy'

He came and asked me and I told him what I'd been telling him. You have to be 4 and no more binkies.

He went back and said 'Mommy say you have to be 4 and no binkies, just like me.' There ended that conversation.

Pre Thanksgiving

Just a quick post as I'm busy preparing for T'giving. My parents, DH's parents, my sister and her family and my grandfather are all coming over tomorrow. My sister is supposed to be coming down this evening but JoJo has hockey till 530!! That would put them here @ the kids bed time. I told her I'd have them in bed before she came. I don't think she was to found of that idea but if i kept them up till 830/9 that means they'd be up till 10! I don't want that right before a big day on Thursday. So will see.

No I'm not cooking the turkey, leaving that to my parents. I think just getting this house ready is enough for me. I am making a pie, green bean casserole, corn from our sweet corn patch and a salad. I'm sure there's more but that's all my weary mind can think of.

C'man is running around the house while i type this, with a string and Sally Bellie chasing it. Cute listening to him squeal. That cat is the most easy going cat one could ask for. Doesn't come in very often but when she does she is just great with the kids. Letting them lay on her, drag her by the tail, and just purrs and purrs.

Here's a picture of the 3 of them. This was actually taken by our lovely babysitter.

In other news the kitchen table is up and functioning. I went to pick up just the chairs yesterday and DH would get the table later. I casually asked the guy if i could hire him to put it all together. By the time I got home he'd left a message on our answering machine and said he'd do it for $100 and then he'd just bring the table with him. HIRED!!

So he was out last night putting that together, DH was glad we paid him to do it. He even asked if $100 was enough. I whispered, just write the check:)

Must go C'man just had a run in with some toys I've told him to pick up, he tripped AND now Miss A is awake. Grrrrrr

Surprises-Like 'Em??

I think I should take a poll. Although in the past people aren't voting, so this time you really should. I'll see if I can get that working.
Me? NOPE. When it comes to surprises such as the Christmas gifts we've been getting for the kids, I can not tell you how hard it is to keep it hidden till Christmas. This is why I can't shop till the last minute b/c then everyone would have there gifts with in a day of me buying them!
Or if you say 'I know a surprise, or know something' I'll beat you up till you disclose. OK well not literally. DH has learned he can torment the crap out of me by saying 'I got you a surprise!'
Don't tell me if you're preparing a surprise party for someone, unless I won't be seeing them till the party. I can also detect surprises. If I think a surprise is coming I'll work my darnest to figure it out. Aren't I just a lot of fun.
OH but NJ-LA got me. She surprised me by showing up for a baby shower. EVERYONE knew accept DH and I! They did so good keeping it. WOW. I wish I could surprise someone like that but I just wouldn't be able to contain my excitement.
Last night we had our annual harvest festival which included supper and then an auction of goods. For instance, I brought my canned peaches, cinnamon pears, apples and apple butter. My peaches and pears brought $17! EACH!! Where I'm going with this is there were a couple mystery packages up there. I just had to have it and not only did i get one, but I had to open it right then and there!!
Now I have another surprise too, but I'm going to keep this one till I can't anymore. I don't think it should be hard to keep and I'm going to see how you all handle surprises. Probably harder via the computer world vs in real life (IRL).

Momma Said....

There'd be days like this!
Boy she wasn't lying, but what about weeks??
This week has been HELL!! I'm going to just start within the last 5 hours. Miss A has been CRABBY! She cries all the time, screams, fights with brother, and is just a HUGE PITA!! I finally thru my arms up at 915AM and called the doc. She's had a cold all week i thought maybe her ears are bothering her. They wanted me to come in one hour. No problem we're coming. WELL NOTHING other then a cold is wrong with her. Ears fine, throat fine, drainage yes but she'll get over it. I talked to the Ped. about how frustrated I am with her. Nothing works. She has such a temper, she throws everything when she's mad. You can rationalize with her (OK i know what 2 year old CAN you rationalize with!?) She's been up most the night this last week and I'm just up to here with it.
I asked about OT (occupational therapy), ADHD, Autism, psychologist, whatever just something to help me with her. The response was can't test for ADHD and Autism till they are 6, why do you want a psychologist? and have you read any books. I have researched ADHD and not really seeing it in her!?
I was prepared for this response and i proceeded with I'm just so frustrated and I'm looking for answers/solutions. Maybe she's just strong willed but i need to talk with someone how to handle it. I have the books, great ones but I'm totally lost right now and am on the verge of a mental breakdown!
She concluded with I think shes just strong willed and you had an easy 2 year old with your son you'll weather thru it.
Now please pay $95 and no we don't give discounts for private pay.
Am i shocked, no. I knew they wouldn't do anything for her cold. I was just praying that maybe her ears hurt resulting in the very crabby behavior.
Oh i guess she did suggest getting her in a playgroup, needs more social interaction. Well I'm beginning to think i need to take her somewhere once a week for the AM.
On the way home she screamed the last 20 min b/c i took her glass away which was filled with water. She even peed in her car seat. I cried. No i bawled.
DH has been gone every night this week, even all day. The last 3 days he's gone before the kids get up and home after they are in bed. I get them up, feed them 3 meals, bath, put them to bed and try to keep things orderly around here. Of WHICH my dryer is still not fixed. I got in there and did as much cleaning of lent as I could and am now waiting for a repair man to come look at it. I think it's going to be fine after cleaning it out, but i just need it fixed.
Finally just called someone to do it b/c there's no telling when DH would get to it. His solution is to take it to his parents. Oh yes doesn't THAT sound like fun to haul wet laundry, 2 cross kids and an even crabbier mother to dry laundry b/c he is to busy to fix it.
NADA!!!
So there you have it. I'm just going to stop here as I'll just get more worked up. If you have any words of wisdom please pass it on. Don't be harsh with me, I'm not in the mood to deal with it. Any other parents out there that can relate to this???

Was God trying to tell us something? We bought that new kitchen table and couch and in a matter of 24 hours my dryer literally starts smoking and DH finds out he has to come up with a LARGE amount of money, by the end of the month ,for taxes on an estate. LOVELY!! This happens every time. When we bought our van something happened too, can't remember what, but it did.
The stupid dryer sometimes smells smoky but not for long. Well last night it smelled HORRIBLE. I opened it and a poof of smoke came out and the place smelled like a burning building. I called FIL to come figure out what to do. He came right over but proceeded to tell me over and over about the time there dryer wasn't drying and he took the entire thing a part. Couldn't find anything wrong, heating element was fine, etc. So he puts it back together only to find out as he was screwing in the LAST SCREW, that one of the g'daughters had put it on air fluff!!! I laughed. That was good!
So yes, DH thought it would be OK after i cleaned out the lent hose that goes from the dryer outside!? but i just looked inside the dryer again and it reeks. Needless to say the clothes that were in there I've had to wash 3 times to get that awful smell out. It's done for, now i have no dryer.
What to do, buy a cheap one? But a new one that I'd really like? Do we buy a washing machine too? Sometimes the deals are better!? What do you all recommend?
Oh and did i mention too that we hired a contractor to put in storms over the only 2 original windows in the house, trim out the kitchen AND sheet rock the garage ceiling??? Yeah, lovely! Sheet rock is being delivered Friday. I cleaned the garage out as good as i could stand too this afternoon. It sucked. The kids have to many toys, the cats have made havoc in there, and recycling has over taken our garage. I made a pile of 'free' stuff and have listed it on websites in attempt to get it out. I don't care if i get nothing for it, i want it out!!

I think my MIL may never....

Watch the kids again! Remember how yesterday I posted about the kitchen table we were getting. Well DH and I went to go pick it out, and look at couches, so MIL watched the kids while we made a quick trip.

Once at the store and having found our table, and a new couch,

we called G'ma to see how it was going. DH did, and all I heard was oh, ohhhh, hmmmm, and i thought oh boy they are being dirty little rascals. That was an understatement. My MIL said they were HORRIBLE. I called back later as the paying, picking up, details was taking FOREVER, and she told me that Miss A had the worst fit she'd ever seen. (i thought yeah, now you see what i deal with) It started by C'man throwing her toy over the gate, then her kicking, screaming, hitting, and that would be all the way upstairs as g'ma put her up there to cool off. Then she started destroying the room. I had to just chuckle b/c when we got home MIL was upstairs with the kids (this was at 910PM) and the crib was in the middle of the room and MIL said I had to do that or who knows she'd had pulled the curtains down and I'm surprised the crib is still standing.

I said she her name up on the wall?? Notice the 'S' is missing, well it got broke in one of her fits of rage.

WE told them how disappointed we were in there behavior and they said sorry and gave g'ma all sorts of hugs. She really just wanted to get home. I could hardly blame her. She left exhausted and defeated. Poor lady. I felt so bad and was so cross with my kids. there behavior was 100% unacceptable and I don't think G'ma will be wanting to babysit/watch these kids for a very long time.

Which One?

We are getting a new kitchen table. Need help on deciding on which one. They are the same color even tho the picture makes it look like they are not. OK nevermind. DH

and I decided on this one. Now i'm on the phone working with the sales lady on the phone right now!