Mothers Day

Sorry to not have posted sooner on this Mother's Day. It's been a good day. Church was great-we had a professional pianist from Nashville that was absolutely AMAZING!! However, he pounded that piano so hard!! I had a headache prior to church and really had one afterwards. WOW!! C'man really got in to it too and does a great impression of how he played the piano.

Yes I got to celebrate Mothers Day for the 3rd year. But it doesn't come without the pain and memories of the many Mothers Day's i celebrated with my mom and not b/c i was a mom. Please readers, remember those women that long to be a mother and for whatever reason are not. It's not easy. I really could care less about even celebrating Mother's Day. Yes I have a mother i honored today but i can honor her all the time. I can remember one particular Mother's Day i celebrated back home with my parents. I remember dreading having to even go to church knowing the entire service would revolve around mothers. Having just came off of another failed IVF i decided I could beat that dispair/hopeless feeling.

I couldn't tho. 1/2 way thru the service i just couldn't sit in that pew one more moment. I walked out of church and my step G'ma came with me. We went to her house and we cried. We hugged, we cried some more, and we ate. You see she was in my shoes years ago. Her and her husband (he deceased years and years ago and she married my g'pa) could not have kids. They adopted 2 and were foster parents to another. She told me she could remember her BF crying to her telling her she was pregnant with #2, then #3 AND #4, and G'ma Gene crying b/c she couldn't have #1. I could relate b/c just a few weeks prior (back 3 years ago) my FF-S called to tell me she was pregnant and she cried and cried when she told me. She had to tell me over the phone she couldn't do it in person. Anyone that knows her, I'm thinking few do, will know that FF-S is not an emotional person. I have NEVER seen her cry like she did when she told me they were expecting. Due in June she waited till the very last possible moment to tell me. God I love her tho, she really didn't have an easy journey to keeping a pregnancy.

OK I'm getting tears in my eyes thinking about all of this again. So yes that mothers day was horrible for me. My mom, sat in church wondering if she should go find me. She then noticed G'ma Gene was with me and decided to let us be. I appreciated that and I hope I didn't hurt my moms feelings. You see she had been there too many years ago. Unable to get pregnant either they adopted my sister.

That was a mothers day I'll never forget. I can remember thinking 'next mothers day I'll either have a baby or be pregnant'. Each year it came and went with nothing but heavy pain in my heart. Wanting something that seemed to come so easy for many but so very hard emotionally, physically and mentally (ah yes financially too) for me. Why me??? That's another post another day.

But we all know this came out with a wonderful ending. Here i am today having celebrated a mother's day with our TWO children. I feel gosh darn it I deserve this day!

My day included gifts in bed, church, lunch with my in laws, hanging wall paper- (boy do i have a post about that) and hanging out with the kids after nap time. It was a nice day. DH was around most of the day. He did the wallpapering for me!!

My prayers and thoughts to any readers (stalkers) out there that don't have children and want them. I know the pain you are feeling. MANY hugs to you. And to the mothers out there?? Way to go on letting your little ones live another year:) LOL!! Just kidding. Give them a special hug/kiss for those that can't do it to their own!!

Tell us what you did to honor your mother or how you were honored. Don't worry you can do it anonymously and will never know who you are. Share please:)