So much to blog about, so little time.
We are back from our long weekend away. Glad to be home. Grateful for the chance to get away and my parents paying for everything, but frustrated with the way family members acted and how my kids behaved. That my friends, my kids, is what I'll blog about. I seriously would covet any suggestions, support, etc you may have.
Those that have kids, do you ever feel like it's YOUR kids/child that is driving everyone nuts? Or those that don't have kids, ever have a child, or more, you really just can not stand? That's what's going on with me. I feel that Miss A drove everyone batty this weekend. She has this terribly annoying grunt she does when things don't go her way. Or she says 'I don't NEED TO', or NO or you pick her up to avoid a full blown fit and she screams. And while she screams you RUSH to your hotel room as to not wake the baby and all the way there family members are saying 'A QUITE' or 'SHHH baby O is sleeping' Or how about 'A share your baby with O' (o is my nephew).
You want to just shout out that you know this is frustrating but we are doing the best we can, where we're at. I don't know how many times I wanted to just crawl up in the fetal position and wish it all to go away. The nasty looks, rolling eyes, hushed sounds, or worse yet the talking that probably took place when you left the room. I often wondered who was the victim, Miss A or her parents.
The child hates being told what to do, or no. I just don't know what to do anymore. In fact I'm waiting for an email from a friend to see if she has any recommendations of who we could go to. Child/Family Therapy, Psychologist, etc just SOMEONE that can work with us. I feel that our relationship as mother/daughter is severely suffering. Especially when DH is around. She REALLY hits my buttons then b/c DH will give in to her requests/demands and wham there I am the bad guy.
Take note, I'm totally willing to hear what you recommend. In fact many times this weekend I said 'what do you want me to do?' 'How would you handle it?' mainly to my mother. But seriously you think you know something I don't, tell me. And while we're on the subject let me give you some tips too!!
So yeah, the weekend was frustrating for me. I felt hurt by my family members, and totally like a thorn in everyone's arse. I wanted to just pack up and come home and I'm quite certain others would have had more fun without us there. And also, how in the world do you keep a 3 and 4 year old quite while baby O is sleeping. I gave them my fan to run to drowned out noise (DH says we're getting them a traveling fan for Christmas). We stayed away as much as we could. Tried to keep play to a quite, and aside from any fits Miss A could have, they were VERY quite.
There you have it. Our weekend highlights if you could call it that.
Monday, August 31, 2009
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3 comments:
Wow. As you know I have 4 kids. While they are all older now I certainly have been where you are now. Firstly I would say from your brief descriptions it actually sounds very typical behaviour for her age and I would be surprised if there is anything "wrong" with her, Obviously though I am only getting a tiny glimpse of the picture so go with your gut.
Secondly,All children are different. A's behaviour may, at this stage in her development, be more challanging than than other nieces/nephews in the family, but that does not mean there is anything wrong with her. She is in a situation where she is out of her environment, with probably much less freedom than she has at home, and is acting out. When mine were small I hated staying in a hotel because it is such an un natural environment for a child. We always went somewhere where they had self contained cottages on the grounds of a hotel so that at least they could have some space to run around and not have to be quiet all the time. Then family members who wanted to stay in the hotel itself could do that and everyone got a break. Maybe an idea for the next family get together.
Lastly, and much easier said than done, try not to get wound up. If she is starting to act up just take her outside for a walk and play with her. It's probably from boredom and frustration with having to be quiet and if you can defuse the situation, get her a bit of release, take yourself away from those incredibly annoying disapproving stares, and get a bit of fresh air you will all be much better for it!
I really don't think you are alone in finding a family weekend away with a child of A's age stressful. It really does get better!
Hope I don't sound too preachy. I really have been there and it's hard!
Congrats, Rachel. Welcome to my world. I hate family things. I hate get-togethers period. On one side, we have the youngest children. And somehow, they ALL have forgotten how little kids are. Their kids were perfect ya know ;-/ Then in my family, my sister is obsessed with the baby sleeping stuff. But I'm not afraid to tell her to shut-up. Or having all 13 + kids in one basement being "too loud". Heck, for some sending them outside is still "too loud". I feel your pain. I very much dislike the whole holiday season for a few reasons, but the get togethers cause panic attacks for me. I don't have any useful advice. Though I wish I did. Grin and bear it. We've spent many holidays at home because it's just better to avoid the panic attack and hurt feelings.
Boy, I really do agree 110% with Gem, and really appreciate Jen for sharing her perspective. I can't help but judge when I leave someone's house or seeing a family at a ball game or Walmart, and end up thinking "I would never do that!" or "How do they get their kids to do that?" and then turning around at my 2 wild ones and wish...why can't they just be good?
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