Father In Law

Probably about time I give an update on FIL. Yesterday (Monday) he was checked in to an Assisted Living place. DH had to take him. It was NOT easy. Besides the fact that a 1 hour ordeal turned into ALL day. Paperwork sent to the judge was left on the Secretary's desk and after they finally found it, things were rushed along. To bad it took 5+ hours to get that far. DH checked him in, they had his things moved in to his room already, and hung out there a little while. FIL kept saying 'I don't belong here'.

I simply can not IMAGINE having to do this. It was hard for DH and FIL. Physically FIL DOESN'T belong there, but mentally he does! DH said most of them were far worse off then his Dad. He really felt bad. It could not have been easy to see your father in that situation. In fact as I type this i'm fighting back tears at the thought of it all. What doesn't make it any easier is that DH had to do it alone. Per the doctor MIL and BIL were told to not see FIL for 2 weeks. Then my niece that is Papa's 'girl', has to be told that she too can not be with G'pa ALONE. They are worried about FIL manipulating her to let him drive, take him to the gambling boat, to the farm,etc all of which are big no no's given his state of mind.

The other brothers are not fit emotionally to handle any of it either. So that leaves DH. The other sad part is that there really is no emotional support for DH b/c everyone is wrapped up in FIL. I'm not sure what kind of support he could use!? but something. I thought maybe brothers could call him to talk to HIM not about FIL. Or ask him if there is anything they could do for HIM here at home. Maybe chores, offer to bring him a snack while he sat waiting and waiting, etc. But again, not sure what support would be best and if he'd even want to talk, eat, etc.

It's emotionally taking a toll on him. Last night he was reading a book to Miss A (who BTW has SUCH and attitude towards me with DH is home) and I walked in the room to tell him just one book as it was way late. I saw him wipe his eyes with his shirt. I'm not sure if he was crying or not. He had to get up and blow his nose as well. I couldn't tell if he was indeed crying, but man I felt so bad. That's why i think he should have a person to talk too. He told me how hard it was and I didn't ask him later if he was crying. He would have denied it if he was b/c he doesn't want to appear emotionally vulnerable.

Today DH is back up in Sioux City picking up FIL to take him back this way, to his Atty. FIL has NO Power of Attorney. The goal is to get that signed so DH can be POA. But again, he left here @ 8AM and will be stopping by AFTER the atty appt then back up to SC. I offered to pick FIL up and bring him here so DH wouldn't have to do so much driving. (that's when DH said no women are allowed to 'check him out' b/c they worry about the manipulation). He'll be gone most of the day AGAIN.

This is our current status with FIL in a nutshell. It will be interesting to see what transpires today. What he'll be like when he stops here, will he pout, fight having to go back? If so that will be SO FREAKIN hard on everyone! Me, DH, kids, etc. I'd best get going as I said I'd bake some bars for G'pa when he stops by. He'll love that!

I appreciate you reading his and would love to read any input you may have, or past experience.