Oh man, I'm trying to take this all in at the moment. I just opened up an email from C'mans BM's MOM. Got that?? It's been YEARS since we've heard from one another. I'm going to ask for you honest help here. I'm even going to post the email. I know you may not be familiar with our adoption arrangement and really, there isn't one. OK enough let me just post it:
Hello,Not sure if this e-mail is still current, I just wanted to check. This is K...A mom. I wanted to just say hello. I think of you all every day. I couldnt sleep thinking about Mothers day, and wanted to send you the Mothers day Thank you. I have been re-married and we have a grandson also named C. I have a friend that is going through adapting a little boy right now, and it makes me think of what we all went through. We also discuss on many occasions what a wonderful thing it was.I hope all is well with your wonderful family! I never want to intrude, and it will never be an issue. We all know that it was a wonderful decision. I am just asking if I could get some pictures of your family. I have wanted to ask many times before, but I didnt want to intrude or make you feel uncomfortable.I do have a new e-mail address and it is you dont feel comfortable, I understand........I am just personally asking, maybe more for my parents for just some pictures of your family.thanks and I wish you a wonderful Mothers day!!!
Thoughts?? let me just say i'm by no means not happy to get this email. Honestly not many days go by that we don't think of BM and even her family. That being said, I've always felt that it should be BM's choice if she wants pictures. However, I know she is not going to contact me. Not a Mothers Day, B-day, etc goes by that we don't wish to have some sort of contact with her. To meet with her. Show her our beautiful boy. Is this a sign? An answer to prayers that I have since stopped praying for some sort of contact?
Mild anxiety attack. Your thoughts would be GREATLY appreciated and if you could be so kind to send other moms that can relate, over to my blog I would really really appreciate that.
I can't call my mom right now, they are out in Washington DC. DH is at the farm.
Friday, May 8, 2009
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5 comments:
My opinion is to send photos ... speaking on behalf of Bri's Mom, I know she would WANT to know that the baby is okay and doing fine ... even if BM isn't interested. I would send a photo, say every 6 months or 1 year with a quick update ... but our adoption is very different (very open).
I would send the pictures. She sounds sincere and you don't ever want C to have something to hold against you in the future. Yes, it's not his bmom but it is a bio family member that seems genuinely interested in at least watching C grow up a bit, and really see your whole family.
My bio Grandma always wished my parents would have sent pictures. Not for my bio-dads sake, but theirs. They never wanted to intrude either...just wondered what we looked like and how we were doing. :)
I would send pictures and ask for pictures of the family to put away for your kids when they grow up.
I agree with happy adopting mom. Good luck
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