Not well

DH's aunt is not doing well. See previous posts about her and her cancer. At any rate at her doc appt yesterday he told her he did not want to continue treatments. That really comes as no suprise, but still hurts as reality settled in that she will not get better. I'm not sure how anyone, including herself thought things would get better. But at that point she mentally has given up. For such a strong women this is hard to imagine. Maxine has lived such a life I can only hope to be all that she was (well minus the stubborness).

It sounds as if it's just a matter of time. I have to confess, as i'm blogging i'm IM'ing my pastor. She went to see her today. Hospice was there and she asked for some time alone. Maxine was sleeping and Pastor woke her up. This is Pastors words:

"At first she was very unresponsive not sure if that was b/c she wanted to be (stuborness) or if she really was. She seemed disoriented and touchy, kept ignoring what she was saying, wanted water, juice, to set up, etc. But when she finally got totally woke up she seemed to be able to hear her when I was up close. The thing that she responded best to was when I sang to her. I said the Lord's Prayer after my general prayer for her and she did not join me surprisingly. But by the time I left she was hearing a little better. We talked about having new eyes to see in heaven...that's part of the Amazing Grace song. I was blind but now I see. ): I asked her if she was sure about going to heaven and she was not sure. Since she had no patience with my devotional upper room or even my reading the Bible to her, I just focused on John 3:16 and what that meant, what Jesus in her heart meant, etc. She did seem a little more secure in talking about death by the time I left. Not sure she was comfortable with it. I told her probably most people are not comfortable with dying . It's ok, but we can be sure about Jesus seeing us all the way, on earth or in heaven."

This is me now: I'm shocked at her not knowing if she's going to heaven or not. She is going to heaven I know she is. She is such a believer in God and I know that's where she's going. She knows Jesus died on the cross for her sins.

So yeah, things aren't looking good. I think it's time for the family to be with her. Pastor said the Hospice worker was with her this afternoon. That's not a good sign either. With the news of no more chemo and her realizing she will not be going home, I guess she figures it's time to give up.

Say a prayer if you would. Pray her to have peace and the family too. This is so hard loosing such a key person in that family. She is the glue that holds everyone together around the farm. She will be missed greatly. Never married she dedicated her life to teaching, helping raise nieces and nephews, her church, her cats, gardening, traveling and the farm. She loved C'man so much and they really had a beautiful bond. I will close the last picture I have with C'man and her before she lost all her hair